The Scottish Arms ... Haggis is as Haggis Does

You may be wondering how we ended up eating dinner at a restaurant located approximately one river, two highway closures, and 37 miles from our homestead in Outer Stinktown ...

Well, for one thing there aren't many interesting places in our neck of the woods so we always have to trek long distances to add to our portfolio of fine and / or interesting dining venues. For another, we received some awesome restaurant.com gift certificates from the DISneyFamily as a Christmas giftie and after perusing the list of available dining options Jay and I decided that the Scottish Arms sounded like a winner. We redeemed a $25 gift certificate with two caveats - it was only valid Sunday-Thursday and the final check had to total at least $50 before our certificate could be applied.

Dinner on Sunday?

Check. We're on vacation and it's a three-day weekend - we can eat and drink like fools and sleep it off the next day!

Spend a minimum of $50 for dinner before being allowed to use the gift certificate?

Excuse me while I change my pants ... I just soiled myself laughing hysterically.

At the last minute I called the nehpie and his wife and asked if they wanted to join us. Dylan's birthday is the 29th of May - the same day as our anniversary - and since Jay and I already have gluttonous plans for the next three days we wanted to give him his birthday gift early and thought they might enjoy trying something new. In addition, two of the restaurants they want to try while we're at WDW in October are Raglan Road and Rose & Crown - I looked at this dinner as a good trial run for them to make sure they'd enjoy the experience, acclimate to Auntie Crohn's food porn habit, and learn not to fear for their fingers while sharing food with us.

Luckily they agreed and we met up on Sunday evening around 6PM for a tasty tour of the finest that Scotland has to offer in Stinktown. The Scottish Arms is located in the Central West End, which is one of the most eclectic neighborhoods in St. Louis. There are incredible homes dating back to the 1890s, cool little restaurants and pubs, antique shops, weird and naughty shops (wink wink), and never a dull moment. It's near Forest Park and BJC / Washington University Medical Center - in other words the neighborhood is one of those little oases in the middle of some not-so-savory St. Louis real estate. It's not exactly unsafe, but it's definitely an area that makes suburbanites a little nervous once the sun goes down. And I'm not really sure why that is because at last check the Central West End is not home to a vampire coven.

The Scottish Arms - bring it on!!!


The Scottish Arms is owned and operated by a native Scot named Scot Alistair Nisbet - he's created a dark, slightly cramped pub with amazing food and service. The interior is true to the original historic building and has tons of dark, ornately carved mahogany woodwork and paneling and the ceiling tiles are all hammered tin - something that you just don't see much of anymore. The restaurant is split into two halves - the pub area where folks can drink and smoke and watch sporting events to their heart's content while ordering from a limited kitchen menu, and the dining room which is non-smoking and offers a full menu to choose from. The wait staff is predominantly male and they all wear kilts - and our waiter in particular was very engaging and knowledgeable. As to the authenticity of the menu, none of us has ever been to Scotland so we don't know squat, but it all seemed as realistic as it could possibly be in a landlocked US city not known for overly adventurous cuisine.

Since Jay and I arrived before Dylan and Jen, we went ahead and requested a table and ordered a couple of tasty pints to pass the time while we studied the menu. Our beverage choice? Belhaven Wee Heavy Scotch Ale - a dark, traditional Scottish Ale with a surprisingly sweet aftertaste and not a bit heavy. It was excellent ... so good that Jay and I both downed two of them through the course of the evening.

What ales you?

Dyl-Jen ... ain't they cute?

Plump Bendy and Slender Jay ...

Once our attractive younger family members arrived and settled in, Dylan proceeded to order his beer ... he made a major faux pas for which he can perhaps be forgiven seeing as our family heritage is Scotch-Irish. It's easy to understand how he could get confused ... and why he asked our waiter what kind of Irish Reds they had available.

D'OH!!!

After our waiter regained his ability to speak, he suggested a Scottish Red - Red McGregor - which Dylan agreed to try. I think he liked it, but it was probably a bit more malty than he's accustomed to - our Scotch Ales were much more tasty and smooth.

The homebrew of the Clan McGregor!

With the drinks taken care of, it was time for some serious foodage. Rather than select one or two appetizers we decided on the Highland Gathering, a sampling of four different appetizers, and the Cheese Board because you can never have too much cheese. The Cheese Board included three cheeses - a French Tomme (semi-firm goat cheese), a French baby blue (very mild), and a Vermont Tomme (much creamier and smoother, also very mild). Accompaniments included fresh bread, apple slices, spiced walnuts, crackers, and some kind of orangey tasting marmalade (Jay said it tasted like the rind - very strong). We liked all three of these cheeses very much and believe it or not I was quite fond of the blue cheese paired with the apple slices!

A round of cheese for all!


The Highland Gathering included the following: Scotch Egg, Baby Bridies, Sausage Rolls, and Haggis Fritter. The Scotch Egg is a hard boiled egg encased in sausage and fried - it's typically served with honey mustard sauce. Baby Bridies are ground sirloin, onions, and spices baked in puff pastry and the Sausage Rolls are pork bangers rolled in in puff pastry. And the Haggis Fritter speaks for itself ... haggis, breaded and fried, served with whisky dipping sauce.

Highland Gathering ... Oink Oink Oink


First up ... the Scotch Egg, or half of one. I tried this without any sauce at first and wasn't overly crazy about it - the sausage was a little too pungent for my taste - but once I used some of that honey mustard dipping sauce this eggy little bugger really came to life. I don't think it's something that I'd ever order on my own because it's too heavy for an appetizer and fried, hard boiled eggs just aren't my thing, but I'm glad that I gave it a try.

Half an egg ... with lots of extra cholesterol


Next up, the Sausage Roll. This was the weakest entry of the four appetizers - I realize that Jay and I are somewhat biased in our love of Raglan Road's Dalkey Duo, which is little sausages like these that have been dipped in batter and deep fried, but I have to go on record as saying that deep fried sausages with mustard sauce are an artery-clogging delectation while nekkid boiled sausages served up limp and moist in soggy puff pastry are irredeemable. They look undercooked, don't they?

The sausage roll ... just say no!


Aside from having a very cute little name, the Baby Bridies (yep, b-r-i-d-i-e-s) were exceptionally tasty. The sirloin was nicely spiced and the puff pastry was cooked just right ... lightly browned and flaky. These beefy turnovers were good eaten plain, but really WOWED us when we poured some whisky sauce and steak sauce over them. This is one appetizer that everyone agreed they would order again. I took two pictures of this one to give you a better idea of how they looked.

Baby Bridie #1


Baby Bridie #2


And last but certainly not least was the dread Haggis Fritter. None of us have ever eaten Haggis and let's face it - you can't really get Haggis prepared in the US the way it is in Scotland ... something about the FDA not approving of meat and barley cooked inside of a sheep's innards. I'm not sure that I approve either. Jay was the most gung-ho about trying it, but in this instance I was pleasantly surprised - the haggis was very finely ground meat minced with onion, barley, salt and spices, rolled into batter and then deep fried - it was pretty good and really paired well with the whisky sauce which provided a nice offset to the spices.

Curious about traditional haggis? Common ingredients include the sheep's heart, liver, and lungs minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock and then boiled in the animal's stomach for at least three hours.

Now you know why neither the FDA nor I approve of traditional Scottish cooking methods.

Haggis fritter ... it's organ meat night!


Our waiter timed the meal perfectly, and shortly after the appetizer plates were cleared our entrees were delivered. Dylan ordered the Shepherd Pie - ground lamb, onions, turnips, carrots, and parsnips baked with mashed potatoes. He, like Jay, is a fan of mish-mash dishes and said this was very good. He offered me a taste but I declined, since I don't care for this dish, but Jay tried some and pronounced it tasty indeed.

A big dish of mish-mash!


Jen chose the Mushroom Pasty (that's pronounced past-ee) which also came with a choice of house or Caesar salad - she opted for Caesar. The Pasty, by the way, was a clump of mixed, roasted mushrooms, Gruyere, and Arugula baked in puff pastry. I get the feeling that the Scots love puff pastry almost as much as they like deep frying things that have no business being tossed in the fry daddy ... like eggs ... and pickles ... and candy bars ... and most small animals.

At least the 'shrooms are hidden ...

I took a huge gamble and ordered the Basmati Crusted Sea Scallops with Roasted Tomato, Scallion, and Shaved Carrots in British Curry. You may be wondering why I considered this such a risk; well, it's because finding good seafood in Stinktown is not easy and laying your tastebuds on a well prepared scallop here is akin to finding seared foie gras at Walt Disney World. This dish was a Stinktown delight and revelation! The scallops were generously sized and perfectly cooked - silky smooth with just a hint of sweetness. I think I would have preferred my scallops un-crusted, only because the slight crunch of the coating confuzzled my brain and it kept thinking that the scallops hadn't been properly cleaned. And while I'm not a fan of curry, the Scottish Arm's version was subtle and played nicely against the sweetness of the scallops.

Scallop O'Hara's got nothing on these bad boys!

My entree also came with a side item and I had no choice but to select the creamy tatties, precious ... and they were everything a metal pot of potatoes should be: hot, and silky-smooth, and unbelievably scrumptious.

Tatties, precious ... lots and lots of tatties.

Jay got nailed with the dining jinx once again and I really felt bad for him since this seems to happen more often than not when we dine out. He was going to order the Duo of Rabbit which was a stuffed smoked leg and arugula wrapped loin served with butter seared yukons and a huckleberry demiglace, but as soon as he requested it our waiter remembered to tell us that their supplier had been rather unreliable with the bunny meat of late. Damn it all to hell! If we'd known we were going to encounter this kind of problem we could have fished a few out from under our front porch and brought 'em with us.

Ah well, when foiled with his first choice then Jay usually looks for the next weirdest thing to try ... in this case it was Juniper Marinated Duck Breast, pan seared medium rare, served with Rutabaga Puree' and Spiced Pear Chutney. He chose Colcannon as his side dish, which is a mess of cabbage and mashed potatoes with butter, salt, and pepper. Jay thought this was very good; well-cooked so that the duck meat was tender and juicy but with a nice light layer of crispy skin to provide some texture and saltiness.

Duck, duck ... where's the goose?

Colcannon ... ugh, cabbage.

Before placing an order for dessert, Jay and I decreed that we must share a scotch flight to wash down the sweeties. Dylan asked me how I even knew to ask the waiter for the "other" scotch menu ... ah, bless his innocent heart. I showed him the scotches that were listed at the back of the beer / wine / liquor menu and indicated that they were all blended scotches.

"Blended scotch is crap. You want single malt scotch which is more expensive and in a place like this they're going to have a separate menu for it. You just gotta ask."

As if Auntie Crohn and Thirsty Jay are such experts ... we've only been playing with scotch for two years and blame it all on those insidious bastards at Epcot's Food & Wine Festival. It didn't take long for the Scotch Bible to make an appearance and we selected the Portwood Cask Tour which was a tasting of the Balvenie 21-year, Benriach Portwood, and the Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban (we have this last one at home and know well just how good it is ... booyah!).

Mmmmm, scotch warms my belly!

Our dessert selections included a Creme Brulee Trio ... left to right in the picture below: Lemon Sage, Double Chocolate Stout, and Apple Cinammon Creme Brulee. I admit that I was skeptical - we've dined in far more upscale restaurants only to have them botch the brulee - but all three of these were wonderful. Perhaps the surprise winner of the evening was the lemon sage, which was a lightly sweeted, cool, lemon delight. The chocolate stout was also very good and the apple cinammon was nice, maybe a little too much apple, but still very enjoyable. All three were cooked prefectly and just the right size for sharing.

A trio of creme brulee? Don't mind if we do!

And last but not least was the Pear and Black Walnut Bread Pudding with warm Vanilla Creme Anglaise. There was no way we could say no to the bread pudding even if it was teeming with intestinal time bombs. Although, to be fair, it was no real hardship for me to avoid the bread pudding because I thought it was way too heavy and custardy ... I focused most of my attention on the creme brulee. Jay and Dylan really liked the bread pudding though, and thought the vanilla creme anglaise added an extra hint of sweetness.

I'll stick with Raglan Road's bread and butter pudding ...


I am here to tell you fine people that the Scottish Arms is a hidden gem the likes of which we had no idea even existed in Stinktown. The food was generous, well prepared, tasty, and very satisfying. The menu offered plenty of food and drink choices to please the adventurous diner as well as the more timid one, and the service was helpful and friendly. Jay and I would definitely have dinner here again and we wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to anyone who wants a hearty British Isles meal in a cozy, congenial atmosphere. It's as close to the Auld Country as yer gonna git in Stinktown; aye, and worth every penny!