If Jay and I have a favorite restaurant on the Strip, it must be Red Square since that appears to be the only establishment we return to over and over again when we visit Las Vegas. Maybe it's the kitschy decor that blends Soviet-era propaganda with reproductions of Imperial Russia's heyday; maybe it's the vodka bible and 15-page drink menu; maybe it's just the middle-aged nostalgia of two history geeks who first met while studying Russian in order to satisfy a college foreign language requirement.
Or it could just be that Red Square serves up some damn fine food and booze and it's always a caviar-topped blini of good times!
идиоты истории
We actually ended up back at Red Square on this trip because we offered to take my parents there for dinner and because Jay and I were planning to splurge on a visit to the restaurant's famous Vodka Vault (review as yet to be written ... please stand by). Unless you are my parents it is impossible to not find Red Square because there is a massive headless pigeon-poo stained statue of Vlad Lenin standing right outside the restaurant's front doors.
Headless statues need the most help!
Red Square's bar
Dining Room
Jay and I opted to try something from Red Square's extensive mixed drink menu - I chose the Chernobyl which was made with Stoli 80 Vodka, Absolut 80 Vodka, Triple Sec, Cranberry Juice, and a Skyy Vodka float - the drink was garnished with the restaurant's three-eye fish ... Blinky. Jason went the more traditional route with the Red Square Martini: Vodka and Sweet Vermouth garnished with Bleu Cheese stuffed olives.
Chernobyl & The Red Square Martini
For the table we ordered Pelmeni to share around - these are meat stuffed little pillows of joy floating in a warm consomme' bath garnished with dill sour cream; they are so delicious that it's hard to stop at one bowl.
Beef Pelmeni
Jason and I ordered a second appetizer for ourselves; something we'd been drooling over for nigh on three years ... the Seared Foie Gras, Baked Apples and Cinnamon French Toast appetizer served with Smoked Bacon and Berry Gastrique. This was nowhere near as good as we hoped. The presentation was the first thing to throw us because we expected something along the lines of a French toast foie gras napoleon layered with apples and bacon. The taste was the next thing to throw us because it just didn't have much flavor, all things considered. And finally, we were just sad because meat butter should never, ever leave a person disappointed.
Seared Foie Gras French Toast
I think there's foie gras in there somewhere
Initially Jay and I had planned to order Red Square's tasting menu and pair it with wine and vodka but by the time we arrived for dinner we'd already eaten a lot for the day and just couldn't stomach six full courses. Looking back on it now I wish we'd gone ahead and done it anyway because I ordered the dumbest thing I could think of: steak topped with crabmeat. It was well cooked and tasty and decadent but I can get this at any Stinktown restaurant worth its salt. Why in the name of borscht did I choose this???
Filet Mignon with Crab, Crab, and Crab
Jon selected the Dill Seared Filet of Salmon with Puff Pastry, Mushroom Risotto, Asparagoose, and a wee hard boiled egg with American Sturgeon Caviar. He cleaned his plate in record time while uttering a series of satisfied grunts. I assume that meant he enjoyed it.
Wild Salmon Kulebyaka
Jason ordered the Butterfish which was served on a bed of Polenta with a Red Beet Beurre Blanc. What a lovely, rich fishie this was and it paired really well with the polenta which provided some additional texture and helped soak up the beurre blanc sauce.
Pan Seared Butterfish
My mom selected the cheapest item on the menu that wasn't chicken, which really annoyed Jay and I because we wanted her to order something she really wanted despite the cost. But she is one of those people who hates to spend money on food whether it's her own or someone else's. The good news is that she really seemed to like her choice because she ate it all up nearly as quickly as Jon did his!
Jumbo Lump Crab & Arugula Angel Hair Pasta
I regret that none of us ordered dessert this time around - Jay and I have ordered dessert here more than once and they've always been tasty. For a really fun time order the dessert shooters! So here ends the review because we were too busy choosing a vodka for entry to the vault to be worried about more food. However, I will say this: we've been to Red Square three times in the last four years and it's been great each time - lovely food and service. The bar is a fun place to while away the hours with some appetizers and drinks as well. Give it a try some time and don't forget to raise your glass and offer this to your friends: ваше здоровье!!
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