It isn't enough that Red Square offers terrific food and a 50-page vodka bible ... no, they had to take it a step further and create an exclusive vodka vault to tempt people to spend stupidly obscene amounts of money on a bottle of vodka to gain entry. Guests can choose from up to 200 vodkas, all of which have been marked up to the point of nosebleed. For example, we selected a fairly new Russian Vodka called Zyr, which is distilled from winter wheat and rye and retails for about $30 per bottle.
You wanna guess what the mark-up was or should I just tell you?
1000%.
Do not adjust your screen.
We paid $300 for a bottle of vodka just so that we could finally get inside the vodka vault. And it was one of the goofiest most alcoholically-inspired fun things we've ever done!
Red Square's Vodka Goddess fitted us out in fur coats and caps because the temperature inside the vault is a frosty -5 degrees Fahrenheit. Jason, Jon, and I then made our way into the vault where our vodka was waiting for us with three shot glasses on top of a huge block of ice. Imagine our delight when we realized that the missing Lenin head from the statue outside the restaurant had been encased in the ice block!
We were allowed to spend as much time in the vault as we wished, pounding back shots and taking pictures. But honestly, it's so damn cold in there that after about 15 minutes we were ready to leave. They graciously packaged our remaining vodka so we could take it home with us for future enjoyment - the other option was to remain in the restaurant drinking our vodka with a set of complimentary mixers. That might not have been a bad option had we not been hanging out with my parents! As an aside, I will say that the Zyr was a terrific vodka choice - very smooth and very drinkable.
If a visit to Red Square is in your future and you'd like to experience the vault, see if you can't find some friends who can help defray the cost. It's pricey for sure, but such a unique thing to do that it's worth trying at least once if you can.
Ready for the vault
Jon looks Russian
Ch-Ch-Ch-Cheers!
Here's to Capitalism, you Communist!
Now we know why they drink so much in Russia ... it's to stay warm!
Vlad ...
Lenin's pigeon-poop splattered frozen head
Jay looks right at home!
Jon looks confused ...
And I'm steamed up in the bar!
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