Red Square, Mandalay Bay (Dinner)

We're Loaded ... with Calories!!! Dinner at Red Square (4/20/08)

There's a story to be told here ... isn't there always? It goes something like this:

Girl and boy go to different colleges ... and don't know why the hell they're there or what the hell they're supposed to do with the rest of their lives. Girl and boy leave their respective colleges and do other things for a few years before deciding to go back and complete their edumacation because that expensive piece of paper seems really important to other people and they know without it their lives will be a swirling torrent of pain and misery. Somehow girl and boy end up pursuing liberal arts degrees that have a foreign language requirement for graduation.

** Keeping score? Girl majors in History with a double minor in English and Creative Writing while boy has a double major in History and Philosophy with a minor in Political Science. Ah yes, it's a veritable think-tank at our house when we're not watching cartoons.**

Girl decides to take Russian for her foreign language requirement ... it fits into her crammed schedule which only allows for morning classes while she works for the soulless dominions of finance in the afternoons and on the weekends. Girl also thinks that taking Russian fits in nicely with the study of History ... she is an avid reader of European and Russian history, feels that the recent "fall" of the Soviet Union ensures that the FBI won't add her name to some "suspicious persons" list, and just wants to do something different from everyone else. Boy also decides to take Russian to meet his foreign language requirement - he thinks it's cool and likes the idea of doing something different. His decision is in no way influenced by his eerie and oft commented upon resemblance to Leon Trotsky.

X Marxist the spot!!!


Girl sees boy on the first day of class and is immediately smitten. Boy is oblivious. Girl thinks she is sending out obvious signals to boy ... only to learn eight months later that Boy's signal receptors don't work. With a little help from friends in the class, girl works up the courage to ask boy out on a date ... much to girl's surprise (and probably to boy's secret regret) he agrees. Five years later she puts on a fancy dress, he dons a spiffy tuxedo, and with a scribble here and a scrawl there the merger is complete.

What's the point of all this and what in gawd's name does it have to do with Red Square????

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...

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That's not a rhetorical question. I really can't remember where I was going with this ...

...

Oh, wait; I got it!! The first time Jay and I traveled to Vegas was early in 2000 - we went with my parents and stayed with Jay's aunt and uncle and had a fine old time checking out the strip and the totally unreal spectacle that is Las Vegas. And one of the places we eyeballed but never would have dared to dine at because Brenda was a culinary baby who didn't venture much past tuna fish and mac'n'cheese was Red Square. How could two dorks who took 13 hours of Russian classes over 18 months not eat at this restaurant? It was only a matter of time.

Lots of time ...

Like eight years worth of time.

Fast forward to almost now which was just last week ... after months of ogling their drink and dinner menus and reading up on their vodka vault, Jay and I were ready to do gastronomic battle with Red Square. And we were bringing Jay's aunt and uncle along for the ride!

One of the things that we liked best about Mandalay Bay was that all of their restaurants (with the exception of House of Blues) were located outside of the casino area. This really minimized the amount of noise and smoke we had to wade through in order to arrive at our dining destination. And speaking of destinations ... take a look at these pictures of the entrance to Red Square:

A very big facade ... the better to impress you, Comrades.


It's hard to tell, but at the very top of the facade the spotlights are shining on some Cyrillic letters ... Красная площадь ... which read like this when converted to English characters: Krasnaya ploshchad. You wanna know how that translates to English?

Brace yourselves ...

Red Square.

Brilliant and devious in its simplicity, isn't it?

Marxists to the left, please ... Stalinists up against the wall.


These doors were very heavy and had individual copper squares with various scenes in bas-relief. The detail was amazing and it looked to me as though many of those scenes were stylized representations of life in rural Russia.

The outside of the vodka vault ...


This is not a great picture, but it does show the outside of the glass enclosure that encases the restaurant's fabulous, exclusive, and ridiculously overpriced vodka vault. For the minimum purchase price of $200 for a bottle of vodka (and rising exponentially from there) guests may shrug themselves into cast-off Russian army coats or fur wraps and venture into the vault to partake of their alkie-hol. Jay and I were all over this idea until we saw the $300 pricetag for a bottle of Cirroc vodka. We can purchase Cirroc here in Stinktown for $28 per bottle ... and it makes a fine, fine martini ... but there's no way in hell that we're paying that kind of markup to drink booze in a vault. I worked in retail banking for five years ... I've been in a vault ... they're really not all that impressive.

Friends, Russians, Countrymen ... lend me your heads.


Your eyes do not deceive you ... that's a pigeon-poop spattered headless statue of Vlad Lenin welcoming patrons to the restaurant. Wondering where the hell his head has disappeared to? It's spending eternity encased in ice in the vodka vault.

That might have been worth the price of admission if we had been less hungry on this trip.

After checking in at the podium located just inside the giant doors, we were seated right away and given the dinner and specialty drink menus. And of course, when dining at Red Square one must try one of the tasty martinis for which they are famous. The martini list and vodka selections were lengthy, impressive, and pricey. Since Jay wasn't overly interested in a vodka sampler I decided to order a Red Dawn Martini which I believe was made with Cranberry Vodka, Cointreau, Grenadine, lime juice, and pineapple juice. It bore a strong resemblance to a Cosmo but wasn't nearly as sweet; this was a well-mixed, tasty drink that had been poured with a liberal hand.

Red Dawn: it's not just a cheesy 1980s propaganda film any more!


In keeping with the color scheme of the restaurant Jay ordered a glass of red wine which we decided not to photograph - when you've seen one glass of red wine you've pretty much seen 'em all. And then it was time to order ... and order ... and order.

Jay's uncle ordered a salad and was very kind about sharing it with the rest of us .. or I should say the rest of them because I wasn't about to tempt the intestinal gods on this trip by ingesting leafy, green vegetables. His choice was the Roasted Beet and Tomato Salad which included baby greens, crumbled feta, macerated onions, and red wine vinaigrette.

Roasted Beet and Tomato Salad


My three fabulous dining companions all agreed that this was an excellent salad - the greens were fresh and crisp and the red wine vinaigrette provided a light, tangy finish.

I was torn between two appetizers: the Smothered Blini which was described on the menu as a large Russian blini, creme fraiche, American sturgeon caviar or smoked salmon, and herbed beurre blanc; and the Seared Foie Gras, Baked Apples, and French Toast which was a baked granny smith apple, cinnamon french toast, apple butter, smoked bacon, and balsamic syrup.

In the end I opted for the smothered blini, feeling that when in pseudo-Russia one should go as far along with the charade as one can before the credit card spontaneously combusts. But that menu description still makes me wish I'd chosen the foie gras ... it sounds like it would have been unbelievably delicious and decadent.

Smothered Blini - X Marxist the spot, again!


Jay and I discovered on this trip just how sheltered a culinary life we really lead out here in the armpit of the Midwest. We were constantly being surprised by the inventiveness and imagination used in the preparation and presentation of many of the dishes we ordered ... the smothered blini being a case in point. Our waitress asked me if I wanted salmon or caviar with my blini and I chose caviar, expecting a small side dish of it so that I could build my own "smothered" blini. Imagine my surprise when the above dish was placed before me.

It's impossible to see, but there is one large, perfectly cooked buckwheat blini (pancake) buried under all of that caviar and it's resting in a creamy pool of beurre blanc. What the heck is that, you ask? It's a rich, hot butter sauce and it was so, so good. Notice that there was creme fraiche along the outer edges of the blini acting like a retaining wall to keep the caviar from fleeing, but there were also generous dollops of creme fraiche along the outer edges of the plate and these were crowned with salmon roe (I think that's what it's called). I like this type of caviar much better - it explodes in the mouth with a sudden, salty burst and then it's gone ... no gacky aftertaste or fish egg paste that coats your tongue for hours afterwards.

I shared this with Jay and his uncle and we all agreed that it was excellent. I thought the best taste experience was a combination of everything in one fork full ... not an easy feat but worth the effort because of the wonderful mix of textures and flavors that melded together all at once.

As for Jay, his choice for an appetizer was not the foie gras as I had secretly hoped, but the Siberian Nachos, which were wonton chips, smoked salmon, wasabi cream, chives, wasabi tobiko, and citron caviar.

Siberian Nachos


Crunchy wontons, tasty salmon, spicy cream, and salty caviar all together in one delicious bite-sized morsel. Yum-yum salmon bits! Jason really liked this appetizer selection and even I thought it was pretty good, although the Wasabi was a wee bit too spicy for my delicate tastebuds.

Fresh breads...


While we were enjoying our appetizers the serving team gave everyone at the table two bread selections. One was the standard sourdough roll and it was quite good - crisp on the outside and light and airy on the inside. The other bread selection was similar to a miniature flatbread and had a big honking olive and some feta cheese chunks embedded in it. Since BriarRosie was stuffing her face in Disneyland I had to give the evil olive to Jason, but the rest of this roll was really tasty .. warm, soft bread with gooey feta cheese is always a winner in my book!

Strozapretti Stroganoff


Jay's aunt and uncle both ordered the Strozapretti Stroganoff, which the menu described as filet mignon strips with strozapretti pasta, ragout of mushrooms & peas, shoestring potatoes, and creme fraiche. Jason told me that he considered ordering this himself when he first looked at the menu but he didn't want to order the same thing as everyone else. However, he did taste this and commented that it was very good - a generous portion with tender chunks of meat. Fabulous aunt and uncle both really enjoyed this selection and raved about how good it was.

Jumbo crabmeat and arugula angel hair pasta


I opted for the jumbo crabmeat and arugula angel hair pasta, which included sauteed roma tomatoes, basil, garlic, and white wine. Mmmmmm, spaghetti with mega crab chunks ... it's not a Russian dish but who cares when it tastes this good? This was another huge portion; I kept eating and I swear the bowl magically refilled every time I looked away. I ended up sending it home with the aunt and uncle so that they could enjoy it the next day for their lunch. The crabmeat was sweet and tender and the sauce tasted like creamy tomato soup with just a hint of garlic.

Adzhika-spiced pork tenderloin


Jason ordered the Adzhika-spiced pork tenderloin with a Georgian pomegranate wine reduction, chrov basmati rice pilaf with apricots, pine nuts, & bing cherries, crispy leeks, radicchio & chervil salad. Look at that plate ... there was enough tenderloin there to feed the entire restaurant! This mighty pile of loin was juicy and tender with a wonderful flavor due to the pomegranate wine reduction sauce. The entire table munched on this plate of meaty goodness and we all agreed that it was outstanding!

This entree also came with a choice of side dishes and Jason chose steamed asparagus; look at the portion size they gave him:

Enough asparagus to feed a small village


By this point in the evening we were four very happy diners; Red Square had more than lived up to the hype with excellent food and service. There was only one thing left to do:

Order dessert!

There were many delicious and tempting dessert items to choose from, but the Liquid Dessert option seemed like the appropriate road for Jay and me to take. This was a selection of four dessert martini shooters served on ice...

Liquid Dessert!


Is that the coolest dessert shooter selection you've ever seen, or what? From the top right hand corner of the ice block, moving clockwise, there was a chocolate-raspberry-hazelnut shooter, a key lime pie shooter, an espresso shooter, and a chocolate shooter. The espresso and chocolate martini shooters were each covered with a white chocolate red square ... isn't that cute? We also thought the red square ice block was a really inspired and imaginative presentation method.

All four of these dessert drinks were good, but I thought that the hazelnut liqueur in the choco-rasp-nut drink overpowered everything else. As a result, Jay was allowed to keep that drink all to himself. The espresso and chocolate martinis were excellent but the surprise winner of the evening was the key lime pie martini. Notice the pie crust crumbs around the edge of the glass and sprinkled over the top of the drink? They were lightly sugared ... yum! And the drink itself was creamy and smooth with just a bit of tartness. I didn't expect to like this one very much but it was actually my favorite drink of the four.

So there we were, sipping our dessert shooters and enjoying some good conversation when the restaurant manager suddenly appeared at the table. He inquired about the meal and the service and then told us that he wanted to buy us dessert.

We must have looked confused because we were already enjoying dessert, but he went on to explain that he had a very large party coming in for dinner and he needed our table to complete their seating arrangements. He was going to move us to a "reserved" area and told us to choose another dessert from the menu and it would be "on the house."

Woohoo!! Free dessert vibes kick in again and this time I know there was no cleavage involved. Jay's aunt and uncle chose strawberries romanoff for the freebie and it was an excellent choice.

Strawberries Romanoff


It was almost too pretty to eat - fresh strawberries, whipped cream, and Grand Marnier sabayon served in a martini glass with a milk chocolate garnish and a swirlie cookie. This was a wonderful dessert - light and refreshing. The strawberries were tucked inside the sabayon, which we thought was a terrific twist on the traditional method of soaking the berries in Grand Marnier and serving them in their alcoholic juices over ice cream. We like this version much better than the "old" version we've made.

Before I wrap this up I'd like to share some pictures of Red Square's interior. It's a mix of Imperial Russia and Communist Russia - there are ornate light fixtures and photographs of Russian Tsars on the walls (we spotted Peter the Great and Nicholas II) mixed in with massive Communist party propaganda posters. Red Square's most interesting and just downright awesome feature is their bar, which has a sheet of ice running through its center so that patrons can keep their drinks icy cold while pondering their next drink selection. The overall atmosphere was relaxed, elegant, and comfortable and the bar did a brisk business all evening. We were absolutely pleased with our whole experience and would definitely return for dinner on a future visit.

Blown glass onion dome chandellier above our table

A portion of the bar area

Rear section of the restaurant ... so opulent!

One side of the bar...see the soviet poster on the wall?

The wall nearest our table ,,,

J&B at the end of the evening ... barely buzzed!