Nathan's Hot Dogs, The Luxor

Nathan's Hot Dogs, The Luxor, A Late and Tasty Lunch ... (4/24/08)

After a busy day of eating breakfast, printing boarding passes, gawking at the afternoon tea selection at the Four Seasons Hotel ... next time we are so having tea at the Four Seasons ... buying bargain merchandise at the Coach outlet, and catching up on family gossip with Jay's aunt, our tummies were ready for some more sustenance. Knowing that we had reservations for dinner at Aquaknox later in the evening we didn't want to eat anything too heavy.

Years of watching the annual Coney Island Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on ESPN every Fourth of July had piqued our curiosity - were Nathan's dogs really that good and how on earth does Takeru Kobayashi eat 50+ of them in twelve minutes?

There was also an extra push in my mind because my dear DIS-friend Nancy swears by Nathan's so much that she says it's her first stop once she deplanes at Orlando International Airport on her way to WDW.

The good thing about waiting until 3PM to have lunch, at least in the normal world, is that the crowds tend to be minimal. We found that normal doesn't really apply in Vegas, especially on the Strip. But apparently no one goes to the Luxor anymore. The place was deserted and we had the pick of the food court ... so Nathan's it was!

I ordered a plain dog that I later dressed up with some mustard while Jay ordered a dog drenched in chili and jalapeno peppers - we shared an order of waffle fries with some hot cheese for dipping and washed it all down with some cold bottled water. These are big hot dogs and after eating one I can't imagine how someone can scarf down dozens of them in less than 15 minutes. Jay and I watch that hot dog eating contest every year and we always have the same reaction: We are repulsed and yet we cannot look away. ;-)

Final verdict ... pretty darn tasty despite the somewhat stale buns. And the perfect afternoon snack to hold us over until our six o'clock bar-meet with some Internet friends followed by a seafood dinner at the Venetian with the aunt and uncle.

It's just not vacation until you've had a dog!

House of Blues (Mandalay Bay)

House of Blues, Mandalay Bay, Breakfast (4/24/08)

House of Blues just never disappoints ... well, I guess there are some people out there who could be disappointed by it, but they are obviously difficult to please and may even secretly be harboring an inner Grimace. Jay and I felt it was our solemn duty to have breakfast at HoB since most of their locations don't offer a morning meal aside from Gospel Brunch on Sundays.

So, around 8:30AM we staggered downstairs to the casino still nursing the richest food hangover ever from the prior evening's dining adventure at L'Atelier. Were we dyspeptic? Probably not, but I've been waiting for a chance to use that word and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.

We didn't have to wait for a table at all, which always makes us happy especially when we are in dire need of caffeinated stimuli to stifle our own inner Grimaces. And in the mode of culinary daring that had taken hold of me since our arrival in Sin City, I suggested to my darling Jay that we order a breakfast appetizer.

Whaaaaaaat? Where do you think we are ... New Orleans?

No, if I thought we were in New Orleans we'd be ordering a pitcher of Brandy Milk Punch and breakfast dessert with a side order of flambe.

Since items like shrimp remoulade or fresh fruit with creole cream cheese were not on the menu - because we really weren't in the Crescent City - we opted for this to start the morning:

Sweet Banana Corn Fritters served with warm Maple Syrup

Fritters served in last night's Chinese Take-Out container!

Mmmmmm, time for the fritters to bathe in warm, sugary, tree sap.



Wow! These were yummy indeed - piping hot, deep fried little dough balls with just a hint of banana and liberally dusted with powdered sugar. They tasted even better drizzled with or drowned in the maple syrup. My surprised enjoyment of this breakfast treat led to an interesting discussion of exactly what constitutes the difference between a fritter and a doughnut.

To start, a doughnut has a hole in its center while a fritter may very well be the missing hole.

Doughnuts are usually covered with gleaming, sugary frosting while fritters are typically stuffed with glistening, fruity fillings.

This is getting us nowhere; what does our good friend Webster have to say on the subject?

A doughnut is defined as a sweet, deep-fried piece of dough or batter. It's also a spare tire used on cars!

A fritter is defined as a small mass of fried or sauteed batter, usually containing fruit or meat. Fritter also happens to be one of my favorite verbs and means to spend or waste bit by bit on trifles or without commensurate return ... kind of like this review.

I understand where the dough portion of the word doughnut is derived from, but whence comes the nut? And if a fritter is made from the punched out center of a doughnut it's not really a fritter, is it? It's more like an anti-fritter because it isn't being wasted.

Unlike your time right now.

You know what washes residual fritter dough from the sides of your teeth?

A bottomless cup of coffee.

The morning cuppa was strong and flavorful and our waitress kept the little cream pitcher filled to the brim once she noticed that we were half-coffee, half-milk, half-sugar people.

There's no room in my coffee cup for milk or sugar!!!


For my breakfast I played it boring and dull with traditional French Toast and a side order of Snausages.

My favorite breakfast choice, after the giant Mickey-head waffle.


This was very tasty and really hit the spot. The bread was dipped in a cinnamon flavored custard and cooked to perfection. And as for the tubular pork product ... oink oink! Salty and meaty and oh-so-good dipped in maple syrup (apologies to my British friends, but I love salt and sweet mixed together at breakfast).

Jay, of course, ordered something utterly daring and weird for his first meal of the day: Smoked Brisket Hash - Smoked Brisket, Red Potatoes, Red and Green Peppers, and Onions cooked with Spices and topped with two Poached Eggs; served with choice of Toast.

It's like Grandma's Country Kitchen all on one plate!


Jay enjoyed every bite of his mish-mash hash topped with eggy goodness. I suppose if one wanted to be clever one could call this a deconstructed omelet, but cleverness is over-rated. This reminds me of something that should be on the menu at the Cracker Barrel. I don't mean that in a bad way because I actually enjoy breakfast at the Cracker Barrel, but I don't like all of my breakfast foods muddled together in a cast-iron skillet or any other cooking or serving device and this just seems like something they'd offer on their menu.

Jay likes breakfast muddle, though, and highly recommends this to those of you out there who like morning mish-mash. And both of us strongly recommend trying House of Blues for breakfast some time if the opportunity presents itself. The food was terrific and we can now say we've tried all four meals that HoB offers and we've enjoyed them all tremendously.

Conquering the World ... One Drink at a Time.

This is Hank Scorpio.



Hank is an evil genius who owns the mega-corporation Globex; his goal is to take over the world by any means necessary - preferably violent. But global domination is hard work, and even maniacal madmen need a break sometimes. Recently Hank and his wife took a vacation at, of all places, Walt Disney World where Hank did his best to relax.

This is the tale of what happens when an evil genius fixated on ruling the world visits Epcot.

Hank Scorpio ... Drink Another Day
-Guest Review by Robert P. of the DISboards

Background: Dreams, Goals, and Objectives.

Call them what you will, but we all have them, things we would to some day attain. People have had them throughout history. Even back in the Olden Times, when lions had riches, people had their dreams. Nowadays, the primary goal of Hank Scorpio is world domination. In the past, things were different. Aside from the usual sports fantasies of youth, one of my earliest dreams, coming from a small rural community with only one stoplight, and being a red blooded heterosexual male of 18 years of age, was to move to California and become a porn star (ask any red blooded heterosexual male from a small southern town what his dream is, and if he tells you anything different, ask him again, because he’s lying)! (Note: My high school guidance counselor was less than helpful in my quest for more information on this career path. Also, some counselors tend to drink heavily after fielding certain questions). After realizing that there isn’t much job turnover in that field, as the actors almost never leave that profession, I settled on more reachable goals and dreams. Bungee jumping, skydiving, etc… Bungee jumping got nixed, because as I got older, there is no way you were getting me off of that stable little platform. Skydiving, same thing, there is no way at my age I am jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. As time goes by, and the human body breaks down even more, I have had to adjust my dreams and goals downward a bit. But, one goal that is attainable at almost any age is Drinking Around Epcot. This report chronicles my experiences, taking this ‘tour’ of the alcoholic beverages available at the World Showcase in Epcot.

Planning: Nothing fancy, just do it. One thing I did have to decide beforehand was where to start, and where to finish (besides passed out on the sidewalk). The logical choices for most Epcot visitors would be to start at the ‘top’ of World Showcase, either Canada or Mexico, and work your way around. Coming in the ‘back door’, i.e. International Gateway, my best choices were to start in England or France. Since there was no way I was starting in France, as I was afraid I would have the sudden urge to ‘give up’ on the project, I chose England. Sorry, but the description of the French as ‘cheese eating surrender monkeys’ still sticks in my mind, and I didn’t want to have my quest impacted by history, or by the tempting of fate.

Not being a huge beer drinker, I decided that wherever possible, the drink choices would be non-beer in nature. Some places, there were limited choices, but generally, the beer was a fall back in each country, if I had to resort to that option.

Training: I threw myself into training for this event, working my way up from an occasional glass of wine, to a whole pitcher of Sangria on the weekends. Okay, so truthfully there was no adjustment to my previous drinking routine, as I really like my weekend brunch Sangria(s). I just drank, but knew how much I could drink, so I had my own comfort level well established before this adventure began.

Launch: This event occurred on a March Monday. (A previous ill-fated voyage had to be abandoned last July, when my partners in crime wussed out due to the conditions. But in all fairness, 94-degree heat and 84% Florida humidity isn’t the best environment to try an adventure like this.) So, armed with a light breakfast and my first two Chasers (hangover product), I marched the team (me, and Mrs. Scorpio with her camera to record the event for posterity) through the back door of Epcot at 11:02 a.m., ready to rock and/or roll. The last words of advice came from Mrs. Scorpio, just as we crossed the top of the hill leading to England, she said “We have dinner plans at 6:00, so don’t screw that up!” Ah, the gentle words of encouragement……

Heading to England to begin my journey, I found that at 11:05 a.m., the outdoor beer stand was still closed, and while there was activity in the pub, I didn’t want to get tied up in there. So, fine, I’ll just walk more and start in Canada. 11:07 in Canada, and its a ghost town. Crickets chirping in the distance, not a cast member anywhere. Beer cart still covered up and locked down from the previous evening. Hmmmmm. It was quiet. Too quiet. Disturbed by my lack of success, I marched back to England. 11:10 a.m., no change there. Okay, damn it, I need to get this party started, because I didn’t have enough time to pull this off as it is, and the minutes are ticking away. Marching to France, I found the kiosk/stand thingy closed. On to Morocco, where at 11:23 a.m., I found a pleasant cast member in the counter service area who said in broken English that she could get me a drink, she just had to find the key. Off she goes. Two minutes later, she comes back with another cast member, who speaks much better English, and he says they can’t serve the drinks until 11:30 a.m. AHA! Maybe that’s it. Off I go, heading around the World. If memory served me correctly, I had gotten a margarita in Mexico before, right after the park opened. Regardless, I am tired of backtracking, so I’ll just scramble my plans, and start in Mexico.

As we approach Germany, Mrs. Scorpio’s cell phone rings. She answers it, and then sits down on a shady bench. That means it is not going to be a short conversation. I avail myself of the opportunity to explore Germany, and in the wine store, I find that they are open. Hot Damn! So, not wanting to lose more time, and having no idea how long she will be on the phone, I decided to get the ball rolling.

Display


Wine Descriptions


Germany – White Wine Flight – offers 2 ounce pours of 3 different white wines. German wine production is 80% white, so I went with the majority on this one. I wasn’t impressed with the first one, and it doesn’t help that I couldn’t pronounce the name. The Kabinett was nice, somewhat fruity. My favorite was the Spatlese. Not sure how much of the melon flavor I noticed, but it was smooth with a nice finish. If not for the arduous task ahead, I would have bought a bottle (or two) to take home with me. Summary: a fair value, if you like to sample different regional wines.

With Mrs. Scorpio finally off the phone, we split a pretzel, and proceeded with the planned visit to Mexico. As we passed the drink stand in China, they were bustling about, so I believe the 11:30 a.m. service time is the most plausible explanation for my inability to find service immediately after park opening.

The Amazing Technicolor Drink...


Mexico – Fiesta Margarita – resembling the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, this used to be an old standby for me while touring the World Showcase area. This trip, it reminded me of liquid Captain Crunch, mixed with Fruit Loops for color. Way too much sugary sweet syrup, and if there was tequila in there, I couldn’t find it, and I have a pretty good nose for tequila. I found this to be the perfect drink to induce an immediate ‘ice cream headache’ effect, as the frozen slush quickly melts in the Florida heat, and tries to ooze down the side of the cup. The obvious reaction to drink it before it melts works to prevent such oozing, but that technique instantly reminded me of what the damned hangover might feel like. My summary on this would be: frozen goodness, but overly sweet, with a side order of extreme ‘cold headache’ pain thrown in for good measure. The picture is a lower light zoom shot, with landscape and tourists in the background. I thought this was an ingenious setting for the picture, because moving it somewhere else would have meant I had to hold it longer in my hand, so more melting would have occurred, and I would have taken another quick sip, and another brain freeze headache would have hit me. Oucheeeee…….

(Angry Note: If they had opened the blasted tequila bar back in 2007 as they announced they would, it would have solved this sugary problem. I may not have left the bar to continue my around the World tour, but still, problem solved.)

Two drinks, no drinker?


Norway – Carlsberg Beer (draft) – Like Ralph Wiggum said during his Tethered Swimming (TS) class, “This doesn’t feel right”. Mrs. Scorpio even tried a sip, and had the comment “It’s Not Offensive”, which would become the catch phrase for the entire trip. I begged to differ though, and found it to be very offensive, and down right nasty. I would liken the taste to either:

a) Mt. Dew
b) Crab juice
c) Goat piss
d) All of the above

And the correct answer would be d) All of the above.

I actually theorize that the production process has someone giving a goat several drinks of Mt. Dew and crab juice, letting the goat process said liquids, then they capture the byproduct and put it in a keg. The bitter taste, and even more horrendous aftertaste, made me flash back to my first significant beer experience in the 1980’s, a night of drunken debauchery involving Hamm’s, Busch Light, and the dreaded Old Style (anyone else remember the slogan “Brewed in God’s Country”). I am probably incorrect on my preparation theory for the Carlsberg, but only because I don’t think you could make a goat drink Mt. Dew in the first place. Yuck. Worst beer ever!

The above picture is a pairing of the fiesta margarita and the Carlsberg (in a generic red cup). I stayed away from the intense rail setting, and paired these two on an elevated platform (the trashcan), with several prominent background structures to capture the viewer’s attention. Also, instead of landscape flowers, this has riparian undertones. And no, despite the proximity and the mighty temptation, I did not throw the Carlsberg in the trashcan.

Finally, something good!


China – Oolong peach schnapps tea – a newfound flavor experience, I’ve been hooked on this since 2007. Cool, icy, and not too heavy on the booze. A refreshing way to beat the heat, and get drunk at the same time, all while maintaining a reasonable pace. For the picture, I again used a trashcan, but I felt the orange blob in the cup, no matter how tasty, needed some background help. So, I focused beyond the drink, to the trees, water, and a sign whose name I cannot pronounce. Summary: drinking can be educational, as well as fun. (Note: by this time, I was feeling no pain, and the tree in the background reminded me of a bonsai tree. That reminded me of the Karate kid movies, so for the next hour, I would sporadically utter “Wax on, wax off”).

We skipped Germany, as that was my first stop today, and as I was pacing myself. I could have stopped, and tried the red wine flight, but not knowing the extent of the challenges that lay ahead, I went straight to Italy.

Arm optional with all drinks in Italy


Italy – Italian Margarita – I start by proclaiming this to be my biggest mistake of the ‘tour’. I could have had Rosa Regale, or a nicely chilled Limoncello shot, but nooooooo, I had to have the damned margarita, albeit Italian style. The limoncello is no substitute for tequila (good or bad), and this was an acrid and syrupy tasting abomination, with the ‘margarita’ title attached to it. The heck with the name, I now call this Italian Pinesol, and vow never to knowingly drink that crap again. Again, my bad, and while I finished it to preserve the sanctity of the ‘tour’, it wasn’t a good thing. Notice the picture technique has changed again, and now the beverage has the country as a background. A good way to remember where the picture was taken. If you have a vivid imagination, you could say the woman on the left has found the World’s Largest Mixed Drink, and is taking a picture. Actually, she should have taken the picture of me, the World’s Biggest Moron for choosing this drink to represent Italy on the tour.

USA – Sam Adams – after the Italy experience, I needed to either get my stomach pumped, or ingest something in refreshing liquid form. I briefly considered Ipecac, but with the few options at the USA pavilion, my choices were limited. The Sam Adams beer hit the spot, and prevented me from getting pukey after drinking my Italian Pinesol. (I did not take a picture of the standard red cup the Sam Adams was served in, so you have to use your imagination, of insert your own favorite red cup photo here).

Blog host & hostess favorite red plastic cup...


Drinking in the Far East ...


Japan – plum wine – At first, I couldn’t figure out why I was being attacked by a squadron of hummingbirds immediately after sitting down with my tray of plum wine and Japanese counter service food, but one sip gave me the answer. The plum wine is some kind of energy enriched hummingbird nectar, and by gollies, the hummingbirds wanted to fight me for it. I can’t say I blame them, as it tasted like someone combined sugar, Splenda, honey, Sweet-n-Lo, then added some plum flavored dry Koolaid powder, and mixed it all up. This concoction sucked every last bit of water out of my system, and I felt myself shriveling up like the evil guy in the Third installment of Raiders of the Lost Ark. I kept repeating to myself ‘you have chosen poorly”. In the tableside photo, you can make out the plum wine, what was left of the Sam Adams, an elbow, the just-before-backwash portion of my Diet Coke, and a nice combo meal from the counter service. The food was quite good here, especially for the price, but didn’t pair well with the plum wine. In fairness, I’m not sure what would, except maybe two gallons of cold water to re-hydrate my system.

Next time please include a Fez!


Morocco – Now badly dehydrated, and feeling not unlike a California Raisin, even after numerous visits to water fountains (or ‘bubblers’ for our Yankee friends out there), we arrived in Morocco. Not wanting to waste time in the counter service line, I hit the convenient little stand out front, and drunkenly referencing a recent episode of SouthPark, I had to get the Sultan’s Colada. Apparently, the Sultan really just likes Pina Coladas, with almond liqueur mixed in. I could really taste the almond a lot more than the Pina Colada part, but overall, this beverage was not offensive. Not very original though, so I guess the Sultan’s bartender was not a free-thinking person. Kind of like taking an existing product, and sticking a clock on it. Summary: This drink was truly not offensive, but not very original either. The picture format changed again, and this time, there is no question where the drink came from.

With eight countries visited and only three countries to go, I had a ‘Pimp Down’ moment. We stopped in the shade, I sat down on something (either a wobbly bench or a small child, who knows??) and I tried to logically determine if I could continue on this mission. We had dinner plans that night for Bistro de Paris, arguably our nicest meal of the vacation, and I didn’t want to get sick by sampling too much of the World’s Fare (get it, World’s Fare…….okay, maybe it was funny just to me). I slowly and deliberately got my watch out of my pack, and realized that since it was only 2:00 p.m., that could be contributing to my feeling rather crappy at the moment. Regrouping from my drunken fogginess, I mentally bullet pointed my situation:

1 - I had just consumed 8 alcoholic beverages in less than 3.5 hours,
2 – Of those, 2 of them were just plain nasty, and another was literally pure sugar syrup,
3 – We have to be back here, in EPCOT, for a 6:00 p.m. dinner reservation,
4 – Mrs. Scorpio will likely beat my ass if I get sick, and somehow ruin her nice dinner plans.

Drunken logic prevailed, and we headed back to the hotel for a longer than expected rest, and to get changed for dinner. Since we were coming back later tonight, this still qualifies as drinking my way around EPCOT, as long as I get the other 3 countries knocked out before the park closes. The walk back to our hotel, directly into the sun, was painful, and I think the cloud of alcohol vapors evaporating from my skin gave at least one group of tourists a contact high.

After some rest, a shower, a change of clothes, and massive amounts of water, we headed back for our scheduled dinner, and to finish the loop at EPCOT. Upon re-entering the park, I immediately headed for Canada, to get a Labatts.

Canada – Labatts Light (draft) – the beverage cart outside Canada was out of Labatts and Moosehead, so I got the only thing they offered, a Labatts Light. It was fine. Reminded me of Natural Light, in a Canadian sort of way. Not bad, not great, just beer eh. No picture here, as it came in a red cup, so again, imagine a generic red cup photo, of your choosing.

Who doesn't like an alcoholic squishee?


France – Grey Goose Citron slush - Before heading inside for dinner, I stopped at the drink cart/kiosk thing, and chose the Grey Goose Citron slush. This is a very nice drink, smooth, cool, and refreshing. My only complaint is that the serving container is on the small side, and the way they pile it up above the rim of the cup, requires immediate sippage to prevent oozing. This caused another ‘ice cream brain freeze’ headache, and while I was doubled over in agony, wishing for death, a special guest landed on our table. It was our old friend Puss N Boots, who, in his best Antonio Banderas voice, proclaimed this drink to be ‘dreamy’. So, I have given this drink The First Annual Puss N Boots Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field of Excellence! This was the best drink of the day, and with only England (where I had planned on having a Bass Ale) remaining, I had sampled enough to know that this was the clear winner. Puss soon left, I finished the drink, and we headed into the restaurant for dinner. I am very glad that I took the afternoon break during my Tour, because if we had tackled this drink right after Morocco, I probably would have asked Puss to take the picture, while I jumped up on the table. That wouldn’t have been good for anybody.

Picture not taken by the Scorpios...

England – Strongbow Cider – circumstances conspired to crash my touring plans, with only one country left to go. I had dispatched Mrs. Scorpio, to get us a table at our next stop after dinner, and she had the camera, as I expected to rush myself to England, grab a Bass draft, quaff it down on the walk to the park exit, and be on my way. As the Bass would have come in the generic red cup, no picture would be required. However, as I arrived at the outside stand in England, they had just ran out of red cups, and there was a small backlog of people waiting for the new batch to arrive. Thinking on my feet, I noticed that they still had clear cups, but weren’t allowed to serve beer in them. A Matlock like deduction led me to believe that they must be meant for the cider.

So, whilst the line lingered, I ordered what I believe was a Strongbow Cider. And SCORE, it was served in the clear cup, so no waiting. This was pretty darned good, and was certainly better than waiting for the red cup brigade to arrive with replacements. I took off, cider in hand, and finished it right before exiting the park (as you can’t take alcohol with you outside of Epcot). Summary: the cider was a light alternative to the typical beer served here, and was surprisingly good.

RECAP: Mission accomplished, despite the afternoon break. This adventure costs less than $90 per person, and while intimidating in appearance, it really wasn’t that bad. I found some of the offerings to have almost no alcohol taste (Mexico, China), and if you consider the beer amounts, I never got as toasted as I had feared would happen. Still, I wasn’t feeling any pain after my first phase of this experience right before my afternoon break, and the combination of numerous alcoholic drinks takes a bit of getting used to while settling in your stomach. If I had to do it again, I would stay away from the Carlsberg, the Italian margarita, and probably get something different in Japan and Morocco, but over all, I think I tried a good sampling of what the different countries in World Showcase have to offer. One goal achieved! Now, on to the next adventure…………….

The Burger Bar, Mandalay Bay

The Burger Bar, Mandalay Bay, Lunch (4/23/08)

So which came first, the idea for Jay and me to eat at Burger Bar or Giada's Weekend Getaways which showed her and her incredibly huge mouth inhaling a burger at said bar?

Does it really matter?

All I know is that when I saw the menu choices and the monster beef-patty she ended up creating on that particular episode one thing became crystal clear: we had to get ourselves some burger action in Vegas. So I did what I always do ... started googling and oogling and droogling. Imagine my joy upon discovering that the Burger Bar was located in Mandalay Place, which is the upscale shopping area located near the back of Mandalay Bay's casino near the House of Blues. Not only would we not have to leave the hotel ... we wouldn't even have to go outdoors ... a lazy-ass vacationers dream!

You'd probably like to know a little something about Hubert Keller's patty pad, right?

It's not your typical burger joint, that's for sure. The Burger Bar is touted as the ultimate burger experience, where the finest varieties of beef, turkey, buffalo, vegetarian, and vegan products are combined with a dizzying array of delicious toppings and fresh, fresh buns. Diners have the option of creating their own custom-burgers or ordering from a selection of chef's burgers among which is the Rossini, a $60 gourmet taste-treat made with Kobe beef, saute'ed foie gras, shaved truffles, and Madeira sauce. It was a bit much for us (especially me) but I'm sure someone out there simply adores it.

The menu is quite extensive and rather than list it all here I will take the lazy way out and urge you to examine Burger Bar's on-line menu and dream of the ultimate burger you'd create for yourself! The restaurant was a popular dining choice, and every time we wandered past it there was a wait for a table - on the afternoon that we finally created some space in our schedule for this experience we waited about 20 minutes to be seated, and I believe we arrived close to two o'clock in the afternoon.

There were plenty of four-topper tables scattered around the place, a long bar with lots of seating, and a wall of cozy booths with high wooden backs that provided a real sense of privacy from diners in booths on either side. We were lucky enough to be seated in a booth and were quickly introduced to our waitress, who was very friendly and efficient. To start, Jay and I each requested a large glass of refreshing water and a pint of Kronenbourg 1666. Burger Bar has a nice selection of draft beers, including Bass, Becks, Boddingtons, Guiness, Harp, Spaten, and Stella Artois. Bottled beers included Sam Adams, Corona, Heineken, Grolsch, Pete's Wicked Ales, and Red Stripe. You just don't know how wonderful it was to see a beer menu that offered such a wide variety of domestic and imported beers while completely snubbing Anheuser-Busch. When one lives in Stinktown and ventures forth to eat, it is not always easy to find beers outside the AB sphere of influence ... although, last weekend we found a place that offered a really tasty Scotch Ale that we tried for the first time and it was excellent!

Back to the matter at hand.

Please keep both glasses filled ...


I did not need to spend much time with the menu - I knew from the moment I scanned the restaurant's website that I was going to order the $16 American Kobe Beef Burger. Here's the actual menu description: this American Kobe Beef from Snake River melts in your mouth, tender with an unmatched flavor, this is the most expensive beef in the world for the most discriminating palate. I ordered mine cooked medium, served on a plain old boring bun with American Cheese and Bacon and traditional Skinny Fries. Fresh tomatoes, lettuce, onions, and a zingy, zesty dill pickle were all included on the side.

Mmmmmm, Kobe Beef!


Jay ordered the $16 Buffalo Burger which the menu describes thus: raised in Wyoming, this buffalo meat is lean, low calorie, low fat, and low cholesterol - extremely rewarding with a great taste. He ordered his cooked medium, on a Ciabatta Bun with Cheddar Cheese and Jalapeno Bacon to offset the healthiness of the meat. My daring darling ordered the restaurant's specialty Sweet Potato french fries to go along with his burger.

Bison Burger with Sweet Taters ...


I thoroughly enjoyed my choice. It was cooked perfectly - pink all the way through, and tender, juicy, and bursting with flavor. The cheese was melted over the top of the beef, and then covered with two slices of bacon cooked just the way I like it; firm but not crispy. And the fries were delicious - hot, salty, and lightly crisp on the outside and steamy and pulpy on the inside. They were delicious and could only be further enhanced by cheap yellow mustard!

You wanna see the inside of my Kobe Beef burger???

Go on, have a bite - you know you want to!


Jay equally enjoyed his choice - his beef was leaner than mine and perhaps not quite as tender, but it was still very juicy and flavorful. I tried a bite of the buffalo and it definitely had a distinct flavor that I'm not completely sold on, but Jay really likes it and that's what matters. I also tried one of his sweet potato fries - I'm not a fan of sweet potatoes unless they're mushed up with lots of butter and brown sugar, so I didn't care for these. Jay, however, thought they were excellent and highly recommends that you order them the next time a meal at Burger Bar presents itself for the taking.

So, you wanna see the guts of Jay's buffalo burger?

All forms of roaming animal make for a succulent meal.


There may be those among you who will be disappointed to learn that we did not order dessert. Since we knew that we would be "troughing" at Le Atelier later in the evening we played it safe and stopped at the full tummy marker rather than pushing the needle to replete (that would come later). And to be honest, we didn't find the dessert options all that appealing, but I will list them here so that you can make up your own minds.

Chocolate Burger: Warm donut, chocolate ganache, passion fruit, strawberry, and mint.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Burger: Warm donut, peanut butter mousse, raspberry jelly, and kiwi.

Creamy Cheese Cake Burger: Warm donut, cheese cake, and caramelized pineapple.

In the end, Jay and I think that the Burger Bar completely lived up to the hype. The food was terrific and the selections were varied and inventive. Certainly pricier than most burger places but worth the money and worth the wait!

Get thee hence to Burger Bar!

JJ Boulangerie, Paris Hotel

JJ Boulangerie, Paris Hotel, Breakfast (4/23/08)

Welcome to our Vegas exploration day! Our original plan was to make it down to the Stratosphere and try some of the truly scary rides that would cause my intestines to jump up through my throat and throttle my brain. But we overslept and for some reason decided to walk down to the Paris Hotel and have breakfast. Having breakfast at Paris is not a bad idea, but it was a much longer walk than we anticipated ... that desert air is misleading when you're estimating just how far you have to walkon an empty stomach!

And damn! There were a ton of people out on the strip jostling each other into traffic, stepping on each other's feet, and spilling three-foot long daiquiris on complete strangers. I know it's been five years since we last visited Sin City, but I don't remember it being this crowded.

So, we walked and walked and walked until we finally arrived at Paris where we expected to just breeze into one of their restaurants for breakfast.

Bwahaahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!

Who would have thought we needed a reservation at 10:30 in the morning? There was a line a mile long for the buffet ... it reminded both of us of a line queue at Walt Disney World ... and the wait for a table at the nice little bistro was upwards of 45 minutes. Turns out there was a convention or some such thing at Paris and all the attendees were hungry, too.

Jerks.

We eventually ended up at JJ's Boulangerie and had to restrain ourselves from ordering one of everything in the pastry case. JJ's is a fabulous little bakery that supposedly supplies baguettes and other baked goods for all the other restaurants at the Paris Hotel. They sell coffee and baked goods on one side of the establishment, and sandwiches, soups, and salads on the other side.

Our late breakfast consisted of one cheese danish, one cherry danish, one chocolate eclair, and two double lattes. Yum!!

All of our choices were fresh and tasty - and the combined sugar-caffeine buzz was just what we needed to fuel ourselves for the rest of the day ... or at least until our next meal.

Mmmmm, shared pastries!


Once we were on our way, we turned to take a picture of the "Eiffel tower" ... it was a lovely day and we thought our vantage point from across Las Vegas Boulevard was the perfect spot for a postcard shot.

Yeah, we actually took this picture!

Alize, The Palms

The Amazing, Expanding, Traveling Stomachs ... One Night Only: Alize', The Palms Hotel (4/22/08)

You may be wondering ... how did Jay and Brenda end up having dinner at a restaurant not located on the Vegas strip?

That's an excellent question.

Lemme 'splain.

I was looking for a romantic, elegant restaurant ala' Victoria & Albert's for us to celebrate our anniversary a wee bit early. I considered the Top of the World restaurant located at the Stratosphere Hotel, but their menu didn't do much to pique my interest. And to be completely honest, I wasn't sure if I could make it through the meal without bellowing "Top o' the world, Ma," at least half-a-dozen times. I did, however, like the idea of having dinner with the Vegas cityscape sprawling far below us like a never-ending, neon dream. So I then found myself considering the Eiffel Tower Restaurant at the Paris Hotel. The menu certainly sounded more interesting and appealing, but it seemed like their prices were on the high side, especially for their tasting menu.

Obviously we've been spoiled by our experiences at V&A.

With a deep sigh I continued to search, and somehow ended up finding a place called Alize' which is a four-diamond AAA rated gourmet restaurant. They had purty pictures on their website and their vittles sounded drool-worthy and best of all - they offered a seven-course tasting menu for $125 per person. Woohoo, baby; mission accomplished!

Tuesday evening arrived and we cleaned up all nice and presentable-like since this was dinner to celebrate our 9th anniversary a month and a few days early. Our wedding anniversary is on a Thursday this year ... the only thing we can do to celebrate on the actual date is go to bed early. And I don't mean that the way you think ... Jay has to be at work at 5:30 Friday morning.

Don't we look handsome and pretty?


Since the Palms is located a fair distance from Mandalay Bay we opted to take a cab. One of the best things about Vegas hotels is that they each have a non-stop parade of cabs just waiting outside their front entrances to whisk guests away to anywhere else they'd rather be. So in short order we were on our way to the Palms, a hotel we'd never visited and quite frankly never heard of before our search for the perfect meal.

Conversely, one of the worst things about Vegas hotels is that many of them don't do a very good job of pointing patrons towards their dining establishments, especially the more upscale restaurants. To be fair, some are better than others, but the Palms was worse than most. We had to walk all the way through their casino before we found an employee we could even ask for directions because there weren't any signs pointing us to the restaurant. And then ... fasten your irony belts ... it turned out that this employee had never heard of the restaurant. She told us she was a new hire and she didn't know what Alize' was and would we like to play some Keno?

Silly lady...we don't gamble with the victual funds. Somewhere in the far, far distance I think I heard a high, thin voice carried on the wind: You're no daughter of mine!

Thankfully we found a security guard who at least knew of the restaurant we were In Search Of and he halfheartedly pointed us towards a remote, paneled corner of the casino, telling us to "keep an eye out for the podium." I wondered briefly if that was supposed to be a warning ... watch out, that podium's dangerous ... or a helpful bit of advice ... it blends right in with the paneling, like a changeling.

Eventually we found the podium, which was tucked as far out of the way as possible, and we checked in with the hostess, were ushered into an elevator, and then sent hurtling up to the 56th floor of the hotel. Alize' was lovely, with elegant, understated decor - and that makes perfect sense because the city of Las Vegas was the real decor, showcased on all four sides of the restaurant through floor-to-ceiling windows framed with rich gold draperies. The tables were all covered with heavy, cream-colored linen and the place settings included a gorgeous, large decorative plate that reminded me of Cloisonne'.

Place setting - pretty!


Here is the view from our window, just to give you an idea of the kind of vista Alize' affords its patrons; that very bright hotel in the foreground is the Rio.

On a Clear Day You Can See Forever ...

And when our waiter saw us playing with the camera he offered to take a picture of us for us ... what a novel idea!

Another picture of the Handsome Hubba and his Lazy Lady


Remember what I said earlier about looking for a Vegas restaurant that offered a "reasonably" priced tasting menu? And how excited I was to have seemingly found one in Alize'? You'd think based on all that time and effort I spent searching for just the right establishment that we would have ordered the Chef's Tasting Menu for dinner, wouldn't you?

Yeah, I would have thought so, too.

But the truth of the matter is that their tasting menu for the evening just didn't have many items that appealed to either Jay or me. So, with just the briefest of discussion:

"I don't want anything on the tasting menu."

"Me either."

"We could make up our own tasting menu."

"That could get expensive."

"When has that ever stopped us?"

"Good point."

And just like that it was settled. We would, in the words of Jack Buck, go crazy folks. Everything you see that follows, with the exception of the amuse bouche and the palate cleanser, were items Jay and I ordered from the standard dining room menu. Gluttons...gorgers...feasters...hogs... we're lucky that they served us our choices on fine china rather than dumping it all in a trough.

The meal started off with an Amuse Bouche. It's too bad that we have no idea what this was because it tasted quite good. Some kind of food wrapped in chilled phyllo dough perched on a creamy little sauce puddle ... mmmmm, mystery yum!

Amuse Bouche ... unknown but not undelicious!


And it wouldn't be a meal without a basket of fresh bread and a wheel o' butter. We've learned our lesson from past meals; as much as we love warm bread and butter, it doesn't do to over-indulge when there are other over-indulgences pending, so we limited ourselves to one slice each.

Warm, yeasty goodness of the non-beer kind


Brenda's first selection: Roasted King Crab and Fennel Bisque - Crispy Potatoes and Jumbo Lump Crab.

Creamy...Crabby...Divine!


When our server first placed this in front of me I had a moment of real disconnect because there wasn't any liquid in my dish, just a huge mound of crab and potato goodness. Before I could open my mouth and make a total fool of myself, the assistant server showed up at my side with a small tureen from which she carefully ladled the bisque.

This was an incredible start to the meal: large, sweet chunks of crabmeat mixed with salty, crispy bites of potato surrounded by a bisque so thick and creamy I probably could have used it on that yummy fresh bread in place of the butter.

Jay's first selection: Pan Seared Diver Scallops and Crispy Chorizo Ravioli - Roasted Peaches, Green Onions, and Manchego Cream Sauce.

Words cannot describe it ...


What have we here? Two perfectly cooked scallops, lightly seared on the outside with silky, tender meat on the inside and topped with roasted peaches. There were also two wonderfully crisp and spicy chorizo sausage raviolis nestled between the scallops and they tasted especially good with the manchego cream sauce. Delicious!

With the help of the restaurant's sommelier Jason chose a lovely bottle of white wine for us to enjoy with our dinner. The best part of this, aside from the wine itself, was the Italian sommelier who told us how much it pained him to recommend a French white burgundy: Puligny-Montrachet. White burgundy has always been one of my favorite wines, but we don't have them very often because they can be a bit expensive. This was a lovely choice, smooth with a mild aroma and a slight citrus taste.

A fine, fine wine that I'm sure we over-paid for.


Brenda's second selection: Pyhllo Wrapped Baked Anjou Pear - Roquefort Cheese, Fig Confiture, Spicy Pecans, and Pomegranate Vinaigrette.

It's time to crack open the dough and feast on the warm goo inside ...


Shocking! Brenda ordered a salad ... what could have prompted such a dietary deviation from the "protect the intestinal tract at all costs" norm? It's pretty simple: I wanted to try something different and was particularly interested in the baked pear with Roquefort cheese ... the salad component of this dish was incidental. You all know how I feel about mold-mottled cheeses .. they smell stinky and taste like funky toes, but I think this selection has gone a far way towards changing my mind ... a little. I am a big fan of Anjou pears, especially with cheese, and I suspected that the sweetness of the pear would help to offset the toe-taste of the Roquefort. And I was correct!!! The pear was smothered with cheese, tucked inside phyllo dough, and then baked to a golden brown - the end result was a savory-sweet delight that I am looking forward to trying at home. Flaky dough ... creamy, melted cheese ... warm, soft pear-y goodness ... pomegranate vinaigrette: a truly incredible combination of taste and texture, all on one plate.

Jay's second selection: Warm Duck Confit, Black Truffle, and Spinach Salad - Toasted Brioche and Sunnyside Quail Egg.

That's one busy salad ...

Look at all the plate action Jay's got goin' on with that salad ... and it's topped with a cute little fried egg. Incidentally, how does one fry an egg that small? I suppose since quail eggs are considered a delicacy there must be a special cooking method, but then again maybe not! Anyway, back to the salad which I did not try - Jay told me that it was a wonderful mix of flavors and he thought the egg was an interesting and tasty addition.

Before our respective dinners were served, Jay and I were presented with a wonderful palate cleanser that I admit to being somewhat skeptical of when it was first placed before me. I don't care for pineapple (among other things) and the idea of a sorbet which included said spiny fruit did not sound appealing. However, I was pleasantly surprised by this offering, which was neither too sweet nor too tart. It was refreshingly cool and clean and we both enjoyed it very much.

Palate Cleanser: Apple & Pineapple Sorbet.


Brenda's third selection: Roasted Carrot Risotto with Saute'ed Rock Shrimp - Parmesan and Marscapone Cheeses and Spring Pea Pure'e.

Looks like Gerber Baby Food, doesn't it?

A slightly daring choice for me in some respects, but overall this seemed like a relatively safe option. I was a bit taken aback by the bright colors of the dish because it wasn't what I had pictured in my mind, but the risotto, especially, was very good and extremely creamy thanks to the addition of the parmesan and marscapone cheeses. I don't think I've ever eaten rock shrimp before, and I'm still a bit undecided about them. Either they weren't cooked properly or else they were and I just don't like them - I thought they seemed kind of tough and stringy. I'm usually a fiend for shrimp so I was a little disappointed to find that I didn't care for this selection as much as I expected to. This was also one of those dishes that seemed to magically refill every time I took a bite, so it was impossible for me to finish. I made a good dent in it, but I did not clean my plate.

Jay's third selection: Seared Ahi Tuna - Saute'ed Foie Gras, Braised Lentils, Saute'ed Spinach Truffle Jus.

Next time, I think I may order this, too.

Wow! Easily the best entree at the table - I'm lucky that Jay was generous enough to share. The tuna was wonderful, seared to perfection on the outside and oh-so-tender and flavorful on the inside. And then to pair it with foie gras? Quick, someone fetch me a fainting couch! Seriously, this was an absolutely incredible dish and we both highly recommend it should you find yourself dining at Alize' some evening.

And now ....

Jay and Brenda embrace their gluttonous natures with a Cheese Plate!!!

There is only one thing to say about this course: Best. Cheese. Plate. Evah. EVAH!

I can only surmise that the look of cheesy wonderment on Jay's face matched mine when our server placed this on the table before us. And all I can tell you is that everything was incredible and we loved the variety, which included a selection of three cow's milk cheeses, three goat's milk cheeses, and three sheep's milk cheeses. Each selection was about one ounce in size and was served with fresh fruit; each cheese also had a confiture or balsamic reduction as an accompaniment.

We took three pictures, to fully do justice to the presentation. The descriptions of each cheese that follow are taken directly from the cheat sheet the restaurant very kindly typed up for us before we left for the evening. That's service!

A cheese epiphany!




Explorateur: A triple cream cow's cheese made in La Tretoire, France; it has a creamy, ivory interior with a delicate, rich, and piquant flavor. This cheese was served with a Balsamic vinegar reduction.

Cabot Farms White Cheddar: An extra sharp Vermont cheddar made with cow's milk and served with red onion confiture.

Tete de Moine: A firm, ivory colored cow's milk cheese from Switzerland; it has a strong nutty, tangy flavor and was served with a Balsamic reduction.

Goats Milk Gouda: Mild, nutty, and creamy with a slightly sweet flavor a pale yellow color; this was served with an apple confiture.

Laura Chenel Fresh Goat Cheese: Fresh and un-aged goat's milk cheese with a lively, tangy flavor and a snow white color; this was served with a Balsamic reduction.

Hudson Valley Camembert: A soft ripened camembert style cheese made in New York from a combination of sheep's and cow's milk. It has a mellow, buttery flavor and was served with a Balsamic reduction.

Manchego: A firm Spanish cheese made in La Manch from sheep's milk. It has a golden color and a full, mellow flavor - buttery and slightly piquant; this was served with a pear confiture.

Roquefort: A semi soft French cheese with sheep's milk. It has a creamy interior with blue veins and a pungent, slightly salty flavor. This is considered the prototype for all blue cheeses and was served with a Balsamic reduction.

Hold up! That's only eight cheeses ... hmmmm, they must have forgotten to add one to the list. Oh well, eight out of nine ain't bad! And now you can see what we did to make the cheese plate even better.

Not possible, you say?

Oh, we beg to differ. Set your sights on this and disagree no more.

Tawny Port Flight:

Graham's 10-Year Tawny: Pink-amber hue. Full texture with good sweetness and a rounded, baked flavor.

Taylor Fladgate, 20-Year Tawny: Light amber color with mature, raisin-fruit aromas with hints of honey. The palate is rich and nutty with a wonderful balance, a clean, crisp finish, and a soft, lingering aftertaste.

Quinta do Noval, 40-Year Tawny: Olive-bronze in color, this is an exotic, intense old tawny with layers of penetrating aromas and flavors of caramel, burnt sugar, chocolate, toffee, nuts, and toasted spice in a dense, luxuriantly textured palate which is underscored by a fine, elegant acidic backbone.

All descriptions courtesy of another fabulous cheat sheet from the restaurant staff. They were just wonderful... and so were all three of these ports!!

Mmmmm, port-y goodness!


What's your refill policy?


You know us well enough by now not to question whether or not dessert was ordered, Of course it was ordered and it was eaten and it was good!

Brenda's dessert: Grand Marnier Souffle'

I loves me a good souffle'

I had just vented my souffle when I remembered to stop and take a picture before I completely inhaled it. There was a little pitcher of Grand Marnier / Creme Anglaise sauce to pour over the top - oh yum! The inside of this baby was hot and custardy while the top was lightly browned with just the right amount of firmness. Quite possibly the best Grand Marnier Souffle I've ever had the pleasure to eat. Sorry, Emeril ... this one was better than the one I tried at your establishment back in 2005.

Jay's dessert: Banana Souffle'with Peanut Butter Anglais.

Elvis's dessert dream!


Well, I don't do peanut butter and bananas, but Jay does and he said this was fantastic. I did take a taste of the peanut butter anglaise and I have to agree that it certainly tasted heavenly ... and then I went back to my own dessert. Jay really really enjoyed this selection - not only was it a fun spin on the whole "peanut butter and banana sandwich" joke, but he said it was very well prepared and extremely tasty.

Before we could take out a third mortgage to pay the bill and waddle out of the restaurant, there was one last item to be savored:

Friandise

Set before us were candies and chocolates that included handmade marshmallow, meringue, caramel and geleé. Who could resist? We saw them ... they had to be eaten!

Do I spy a wafer thin mint???

We enjoyed every aspect of this meal: wonderful ambience, attentive service, a creative menu, and deliciously prepared food. If you're ever in Las Vegas and are looking for a quiet, romantic dinner you could do a lot worse than to try Alize'. It's expensive, but absolutely worth it!