The Scottish Arms ... Haggis is as Haggis Does

You may be wondering how we ended up eating dinner at a restaurant located approximately one river, two highway closures, and 37 miles from our homestead in Outer Stinktown ...

Well, for one thing there aren't many interesting places in our neck of the woods so we always have to trek long distances to add to our portfolio of fine and / or interesting dining venues. For another, we received some awesome restaurant.com gift certificates from the DISneyFamily as a Christmas giftie and after perusing the list of available dining options Jay and I decided that the Scottish Arms sounded like a winner. We redeemed a $25 gift certificate with two caveats - it was only valid Sunday-Thursday and the final check had to total at least $50 before our certificate could be applied.

Dinner on Sunday?

Check. We're on vacation and it's a three-day weekend - we can eat and drink like fools and sleep it off the next day!

Spend a minimum of $50 for dinner before being allowed to use the gift certificate?

Excuse me while I change my pants ... I just soiled myself laughing hysterically.

At the last minute I called the nehpie and his wife and asked if they wanted to join us. Dylan's birthday is the 29th of May - the same day as our anniversary - and since Jay and I already have gluttonous plans for the next three days we wanted to give him his birthday gift early and thought they might enjoy trying something new. In addition, two of the restaurants they want to try while we're at WDW in October are Raglan Road and Rose & Crown - I looked at this dinner as a good trial run for them to make sure they'd enjoy the experience, acclimate to Auntie Crohn's food porn habit, and learn not to fear for their fingers while sharing food with us.

Luckily they agreed and we met up on Sunday evening around 6PM for a tasty tour of the finest that Scotland has to offer in Stinktown. The Scottish Arms is located in the Central West End, which is one of the most eclectic neighborhoods in St. Louis. There are incredible homes dating back to the 1890s, cool little restaurants and pubs, antique shops, weird and naughty shops (wink wink), and never a dull moment. It's near Forest Park and BJC / Washington University Medical Center - in other words the neighborhood is one of those little oases in the middle of some not-so-savory St. Louis real estate. It's not exactly unsafe, but it's definitely an area that makes suburbanites a little nervous once the sun goes down. And I'm not really sure why that is because at last check the Central West End is not home to a vampire coven.

The Scottish Arms - bring it on!!!


The Scottish Arms is owned and operated by a native Scot named Scot Alistair Nisbet - he's created a dark, slightly cramped pub with amazing food and service. The interior is true to the original historic building and has tons of dark, ornately carved mahogany woodwork and paneling and the ceiling tiles are all hammered tin - something that you just don't see much of anymore. The restaurant is split into two halves - the pub area where folks can drink and smoke and watch sporting events to their heart's content while ordering from a limited kitchen menu, and the dining room which is non-smoking and offers a full menu to choose from. The wait staff is predominantly male and they all wear kilts - and our waiter in particular was very engaging and knowledgeable. As to the authenticity of the menu, none of us has ever been to Scotland so we don't know squat, but it all seemed as realistic as it could possibly be in a landlocked US city not known for overly adventurous cuisine.

Since Jay and I arrived before Dylan and Jen, we went ahead and requested a table and ordered a couple of tasty pints to pass the time while we studied the menu. Our beverage choice? Belhaven Wee Heavy Scotch Ale - a dark, traditional Scottish Ale with a surprisingly sweet aftertaste and not a bit heavy. It was excellent ... so good that Jay and I both downed two of them through the course of the evening.

What ales you?

Dyl-Jen ... ain't they cute?

Plump Bendy and Slender Jay ...

Once our attractive younger family members arrived and settled in, Dylan proceeded to order his beer ... he made a major faux pas for which he can perhaps be forgiven seeing as our family heritage is Scotch-Irish. It's easy to understand how he could get confused ... and why he asked our waiter what kind of Irish Reds they had available.

D'OH!!!

After our waiter regained his ability to speak, he suggested a Scottish Red - Red McGregor - which Dylan agreed to try. I think he liked it, but it was probably a bit more malty than he's accustomed to - our Scotch Ales were much more tasty and smooth.

The homebrew of the Clan McGregor!

With the drinks taken care of, it was time for some serious foodage. Rather than select one or two appetizers we decided on the Highland Gathering, a sampling of four different appetizers, and the Cheese Board because you can never have too much cheese. The Cheese Board included three cheeses - a French Tomme (semi-firm goat cheese), a French baby blue (very mild), and a Vermont Tomme (much creamier and smoother, also very mild). Accompaniments included fresh bread, apple slices, spiced walnuts, crackers, and some kind of orangey tasting marmalade (Jay said it tasted like the rind - very strong). We liked all three of these cheeses very much and believe it or not I was quite fond of the blue cheese paired with the apple slices!

A round of cheese for all!


The Highland Gathering included the following: Scotch Egg, Baby Bridies, Sausage Rolls, and Haggis Fritter. The Scotch Egg is a hard boiled egg encased in sausage and fried - it's typically served with honey mustard sauce. Baby Bridies are ground sirloin, onions, and spices baked in puff pastry and the Sausage Rolls are pork bangers rolled in in puff pastry. And the Haggis Fritter speaks for itself ... haggis, breaded and fried, served with whisky dipping sauce.

Highland Gathering ... Oink Oink Oink


First up ... the Scotch Egg, or half of one. I tried this without any sauce at first and wasn't overly crazy about it - the sausage was a little too pungent for my taste - but once I used some of that honey mustard dipping sauce this eggy little bugger really came to life. I don't think it's something that I'd ever order on my own because it's too heavy for an appetizer and fried, hard boiled eggs just aren't my thing, but I'm glad that I gave it a try.

Half an egg ... with lots of extra cholesterol


Next up, the Sausage Roll. This was the weakest entry of the four appetizers - I realize that Jay and I are somewhat biased in our love of Raglan Road's Dalkey Duo, which is little sausages like these that have been dipped in batter and deep fried, but I have to go on record as saying that deep fried sausages with mustard sauce are an artery-clogging delectation while nekkid boiled sausages served up limp and moist in soggy puff pastry are irredeemable. They look undercooked, don't they?

The sausage roll ... just say no!


Aside from having a very cute little name, the Baby Bridies (yep, b-r-i-d-i-e-s) were exceptionally tasty. The sirloin was nicely spiced and the puff pastry was cooked just right ... lightly browned and flaky. These beefy turnovers were good eaten plain, but really WOWED us when we poured some whisky sauce and steak sauce over them. This is one appetizer that everyone agreed they would order again. I took two pictures of this one to give you a better idea of how they looked.

Baby Bridie #1


Baby Bridie #2


And last but certainly not least was the dread Haggis Fritter. None of us have ever eaten Haggis and let's face it - you can't really get Haggis prepared in the US the way it is in Scotland ... something about the FDA not approving of meat and barley cooked inside of a sheep's innards. I'm not sure that I approve either. Jay was the most gung-ho about trying it, but in this instance I was pleasantly surprised - the haggis was very finely ground meat minced with onion, barley, salt and spices, rolled into batter and then deep fried - it was pretty good and really paired well with the whisky sauce which provided a nice offset to the spices.

Curious about traditional haggis? Common ingredients include the sheep's heart, liver, and lungs minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock and then boiled in the animal's stomach for at least three hours.

Now you know why neither the FDA nor I approve of traditional Scottish cooking methods.

Haggis fritter ... it's organ meat night!


Our waiter timed the meal perfectly, and shortly after the appetizer plates were cleared our entrees were delivered. Dylan ordered the Shepherd Pie - ground lamb, onions, turnips, carrots, and parsnips baked with mashed potatoes. He, like Jay, is a fan of mish-mash dishes and said this was very good. He offered me a taste but I declined, since I don't care for this dish, but Jay tried some and pronounced it tasty indeed.

A big dish of mish-mash!


Jen chose the Mushroom Pasty (that's pronounced past-ee) which also came with a choice of house or Caesar salad - she opted for Caesar. The Pasty, by the way, was a clump of mixed, roasted mushrooms, Gruyere, and Arugula baked in puff pastry. I get the feeling that the Scots love puff pastry almost as much as they like deep frying things that have no business being tossed in the fry daddy ... like eggs ... and pickles ... and candy bars ... and most small animals.

At least the 'shrooms are hidden ...

I took a huge gamble and ordered the Basmati Crusted Sea Scallops with Roasted Tomato, Scallion, and Shaved Carrots in British Curry. You may be wondering why I considered this such a risk; well, it's because finding good seafood in Stinktown is not easy and laying your tastebuds on a well prepared scallop here is akin to finding seared foie gras at Walt Disney World. This dish was a Stinktown delight and revelation! The scallops were generously sized and perfectly cooked - silky smooth with just a hint of sweetness. I think I would have preferred my scallops un-crusted, only because the slight crunch of the coating confuzzled my brain and it kept thinking that the scallops hadn't been properly cleaned. And while I'm not a fan of curry, the Scottish Arm's version was subtle and played nicely against the sweetness of the scallops.

Scallop O'Hara's got nothing on these bad boys!

My entree also came with a side item and I had no choice but to select the creamy tatties, precious ... and they were everything a metal pot of potatoes should be: hot, and silky-smooth, and unbelievably scrumptious.

Tatties, precious ... lots and lots of tatties.

Jay got nailed with the dining jinx once again and I really felt bad for him since this seems to happen more often than not when we dine out. He was going to order the Duo of Rabbit which was a stuffed smoked leg and arugula wrapped loin served with butter seared yukons and a huckleberry demiglace, but as soon as he requested it our waiter remembered to tell us that their supplier had been rather unreliable with the bunny meat of late. Damn it all to hell! If we'd known we were going to encounter this kind of problem we could have fished a few out from under our front porch and brought 'em with us.

Ah well, when foiled with his first choice then Jay usually looks for the next weirdest thing to try ... in this case it was Juniper Marinated Duck Breast, pan seared medium rare, served with Rutabaga Puree' and Spiced Pear Chutney. He chose Colcannon as his side dish, which is a mess of cabbage and mashed potatoes with butter, salt, and pepper. Jay thought this was very good; well-cooked so that the duck meat was tender and juicy but with a nice light layer of crispy skin to provide some texture and saltiness.

Duck, duck ... where's the goose?

Colcannon ... ugh, cabbage.

Before placing an order for dessert, Jay and I decreed that we must share a scotch flight to wash down the sweeties. Dylan asked me how I even knew to ask the waiter for the "other" scotch menu ... ah, bless his innocent heart. I showed him the scotches that were listed at the back of the beer / wine / liquor menu and indicated that they were all blended scotches.

"Blended scotch is crap. You want single malt scotch which is more expensive and in a place like this they're going to have a separate menu for it. You just gotta ask."

As if Auntie Crohn and Thirsty Jay are such experts ... we've only been playing with scotch for two years and blame it all on those insidious bastards at Epcot's Food & Wine Festival. It didn't take long for the Scotch Bible to make an appearance and we selected the Portwood Cask Tour which was a tasting of the Balvenie 21-year, Benriach Portwood, and the Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban (we have this last one at home and know well just how good it is ... booyah!).

Mmmmm, scotch warms my belly!

Our dessert selections included a Creme Brulee Trio ... left to right in the picture below: Lemon Sage, Double Chocolate Stout, and Apple Cinammon Creme Brulee. I admit that I was skeptical - we've dined in far more upscale restaurants only to have them botch the brulee - but all three of these were wonderful. Perhaps the surprise winner of the evening was the lemon sage, which was a lightly sweeted, cool, lemon delight. The chocolate stout was also very good and the apple cinammon was nice, maybe a little too much apple, but still very enjoyable. All three were cooked prefectly and just the right size for sharing.

A trio of creme brulee? Don't mind if we do!

And last but not least was the Pear and Black Walnut Bread Pudding with warm Vanilla Creme Anglaise. There was no way we could say no to the bread pudding even if it was teeming with intestinal time bombs. Although, to be fair, it was no real hardship for me to avoid the bread pudding because I thought it was way too heavy and custardy ... I focused most of my attention on the creme brulee. Jay and Dylan really liked the bread pudding though, and thought the vanilla creme anglaise added an extra hint of sweetness.

I'll stick with Raglan Road's bread and butter pudding ...


I am here to tell you fine people that the Scottish Arms is a hidden gem the likes of which we had no idea even existed in Stinktown. The food was generous, well prepared, tasty, and very satisfying. The menu offered plenty of food and drink choices to please the adventurous diner as well as the more timid one, and the service was helpful and friendly. Jay and I would definitely have dinner here again and we wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to anyone who wants a hearty British Isles meal in a cozy, congenial atmosphere. It's as close to the Auld Country as yer gonna git in Stinktown; aye, and worth every penny!

Brio Tuscan Grill: Leave the Button Off Your Pants ... You're Going to Need the Breathing Room

Saturday, February 21st - Lunch with the In-Laws ... Jay & Bendy Style!

It's always hard for us to find gifts to give Jay's parents, so lately we've taken to subjecting them to our company while enjoying a nice lunch or dinner somewhere here in Stinktown. Today we took them to lunch at Brio Tuscan Grille, located at Frontenac Plaza. To give those of you not familiar with Stinktown some perspective, Frontenac is a bastion of old money ... the horsey set live and eat and shop here ... when Jay and I pay a visit we typically end up looking and feeling like Cletus and Brandine on their first trip to the big city.

First, we had to stop and pick up Jay's mom because his dad was going to meet us at the restaurant. Jay and I snapped a quick self portrait while waiting for her ... it just doesn't feel like a dining review unless I've included a picture of your devoted, intrepid troughers.

It's your fatter, paler, winter-time doppelgangers!


Saturday looked like a nice day but it was very cold and we had one of those sharp northwest winds gusting up to 30 miles-per-hour that just drove the cold right through your bones. There's only one solution for that ... well, other than not going outside in the first place ... and that is ordering a drink or three to get your sluggish circulation moving again.

It's BRIO, not BRILLO.


Jay's parents ...


So, you may be wondering why Brio refers to itself as a Tuscan Grill. I don't know ... I've never been to Tuscany and I rarely, if ever, grill anything other than a cheese sandwedge. I took a couple of pictures of the interior of the restaurant and those of you've been to Tuscany can tell me if the decor is authentic ... something tells me that it's not. Regardless, I loved the interior design - lots of natural light, warm woods, gold and burgundy brocade fabrics, a very large, inviting bar and a huge, open wood-fired oven. It was elegant, relaxed, and welcoming.





My drink of choice for the afternoon was a Flirtini: Absolut Raspberri, Cointreau, cranberry juice, pineapple juice, and a splash of Prosecco with a cherry hiding at the bottom of the glass.

A drink? Don't mind if I do!


Jay's drink selection for the meal was a Bocce Ball: a traditional Italian cocktail blending DiSaronno Amaretto and freshly squeezed orange juice. Heh, in Stinktown we call that an Amaretto Sour.

They could have at least served it in a bocce ball, dont you think?


We shared an appetizer, thanks to a suggestion from Jay's dad, and chose Brio's Brushcetta Quattro - a sampling of the restaurant's four housemade bruschettas. From left to right in the picture below:

Sliced Steak Bruschetta - served with Gorgonzola Dolce, Arugula, Fennel, Charred Tomato, Shaved Parmigiano-Reggiano, and Tuscan Italian Dressing.

Sausage Bruschetta - served with Melted Provolone Cheese, Housemade Peperonata, and Fresh Basil.

Roasted Red Pepper & Fresh Mozzarella Bruschetta - served with Fresh Basil and a Balsamic Drizzle.

Shrimp Bruschetta - served with Lobster Sherry Sauce, Fontina Cheese, and Charred Tomato Cilantro Relish.

Oooooh, we have a winner!


These were all exceptionally tasty with good flavors and seasonings - I can't even pick a favorite from among the four because they were all so good. It was an inspired choice - kudos to Jay's dad!

Jay is a salad man and he ordered a Caesar Salad along with his entree; it was a typical salad but the croutons were homemade - soft, yet crispy and oh-so-yummy!

See, BRIO, not BRILLO.


I had to have a bowl of the Lobster Bisque - I've had it here before and it's just incredible, made with shrimp and a splash of sherry. This was creamy and smooth and subtle - I especially liked finding several shrimpies in the bottom of my bowl. Jay is much more fond of lobster than I am, and he agreed that this bisque was tremendous and even helped me finish it off.

Soupy goodness!


My entree choice was Pasta Alla Vodka - delicate handmade pasta filled with Ricotta Cheese, tossed with Crispy Prosciutto, Garlic, Basil, and a Tomato-Parmesan Cream Sauce. This was delicious - little pasta purses filled with hot, creamy cheese swimming in a light, tomato bath. And those crunchy bits of prosciutto added just the right amount of firm texture to an otherwise very soft dish.

I did not order this just because there was vodka in the sauce.


Jay ordered Garganelli Carbonara - Wood Grilled Chicken, Crisp Bacon, Parmesan Cheese, and Sauteed Spinach. Jay and I both really enjoyed this selection - it was a generous serving with lots of tender, flavorful chicken. We especially liked that the sauce was very very light and not at all sticky or gacky as some white sauces can be.

I think we've made this at home...


Jay's dad ordered the Tuscan Grilled Pork Chop - A Center-Cut, Marinated, Seared on the Grill Slice of Pig with Mashed Potatoes and Asparagoose. I did not try this since pork chops are not my preferred method of pork ingestion, but Jay's dad and Jay (who sampled) thought it was terrific - well cooked yet very moist, which can be a difficult feat to accomplish with pork.

You can take the man off the farm, but you can't take the farm outta the man.


Jay's mom ordered the Romano Crusted Chicken Salad - Crispy Romano Chicken, Chopped Egg, Bacon, Tomatoes, Green Onions, Cucumber, and Creamy Parmesan Dressing. In brief, this was a chicken caesar salad with breaded tenders but I have to admit that the chicken smelled terrific. Jay's mom seemed to enjoy it and she finished it all, so that must be a good sign.

Here chickie chickie chickie ...


Believe it or not we didn't order any after-dinner alcoholic drinks ... when not on vacation we really do tend to play things pretty straight - it's boring but safe. So Jay stuck with plain old coffee while I ordered a cappuccino.

C-O-F-F-E-E


C-A-P-P-Y


My cappuccino was wonderful ... a big, deep cup of caffeinated goodness topped with light foam and sprinkled with cinnamon. I could have sat there all afternoon drinking cup after cup of this stuff, it was that good, but there was dessert to be eaten. And so it was that this was delivered to the table: the Creme Brulee Trio - A sampling of Chocolate-Peanut Butter, Brown Sugar, and Caramel Creme Brulees.

Isn't that the cutest presentation you've seen today?


Still cute, aren't they?


They all sound good, don't they? The caramel creme brulee was the best in my opinion ... creamy, smooth, and sweet. The brown sugar was OK - it had nice flavor but had the consistency of pudding. We suspect that it didn't have time to set or wasn't properly cooked. The chocolate-peanut butter sounded delightful but honestly all I could taste was smoke. Yeah, I said smoke; so that means someone burned something they shouldn't have or else someone mistakenly used our demitasse cup of creme brulee as an ashtray.

Final verdict? Stick with normal creme brulee or order the cheesecake next time!

Overall we had a very good meal and a nice afternoon - we had attentive service and well prepared food (except for dessert) and would definitely head back for another meal some day.

Happy New Year ... Six Weeks After the Fact!

I have returned.

Hahahaha!!!

I should have posted all that holiday 2008 food porn here but I was trying to make things easy for my many food-friends on the DIS with the end result that the first review thread got closed out because someone objected. And thus I was reminded why I started this blog in the first place ...

While I'm still working on finishing the other reviews from October 2008, there isn't likely to be much activity here. Since I was lamed up with sciatica for two months and ate like an incredible sow during Christmas and New Year's I have gained more than 10 pounds putting my current mass at 153 pounds. I'm shooting for a total weight loss of 30 pounds by my 40th birthday (October 17) but will be satisfied with 25 pounds which would take me back to my wedding day weight.

In the interests of being less of a lazy-ass pig as well as saving money, we've severely cut back on a lot of our plans for this year. But the good news is this:

1) We have a gift certificate to a local sushi joint called Wasabi (thank you Anila & Tim) that comes highly recommended and we will be dining there once the weather turns to warm, balmy, spring.

2) We have some gift certificates from restaurants.com (thank you Michelle & family) and are planning on trying the food at the Scottish Arms ... again, once the weather thaws out and I've lost some weight.

3) We have reservations for a two-night stay at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis for our tenth anniversary at the end of May. If we do in fact keep that reservation we will have some reviews to share with you all, including a 7-course tasting menu from their 4-star restaurant Chez Philipe.

4) Although we canceled our planned 7-night cruise for this October in favor of a 14-night transatlantic cruise in September 2010 (hell yeah!) we still will be spending 10 nights in WDW come October 2009. Despite our current curious lack of interest in where we will eat while there, I know and you know that there will be plenty of food and booze to discuss in the months to come.

5) It is not set in stone, but most certainly the discussion of a repeat visit to Las Vegas in May 2010 for a certain husband's 40th birthday has taken place. In fact ... short of some kind of medical or fiscal disaster we're pretty sure to be there. And come hell or high water I'm taking Jason to Joel Robuchon's mansion for dinner ... 16-course meal here we come!!!

That's all I have for now ... I'll be sure to clean this place up once I'm finished with this latest batch of reviews on the DIS. I just don't have enough time to juggle everything ...not enough hours in the day, especially when you work for a bank.

I hope you are all well and wish you the best for a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2009!!

PS. I just remembered something else! The height of irony, which I think we'll all agree can be pretty ironic sometimes ... we received a letter in the mail from The Drunken Fish!!! Need a refresher? That's the last non-Disney review I wrote that just happens to be posted here for your reading pleasure. Anyway, they're offering us $10 off a dinner of $30 or more! I was all for tossing the letter in the trash but Jay stopped me and said it would be good incentive to try them one more time since the offer doesn't expire. So now it's stuck to our refrigerator along with all those Simpsons magnets. If we do end up dining there again I hope they've traded out the techo-babble music for something a little more appropriate.

The Drunken Fish ... Not Nearly Drunk Enough

Friday, October 31st - Trick or Treat; Man, We're Beat; Give us Lots of Fish to Eat!

Here's how it started:

Halloween.

This year it fell on a Friday. I don't know what rush-hour traffic is like elsewhere; I'm sure it has to be worse in metropolitan areas larger than Stinktown, but then again maybe not. Those of you who live in large cities are probably fortunate enough to have mass transit systems that actually extend to the suburbs.

Not so Stinktown.

We have a light rail system that pretty much does nothing to relieve commuter traffic congestion. To quote those two funny looking Irish caricatures from the Guinness commercials, "BRILLIANT!!!"

What is my effing point?

Westbound traffic coming out of St. Louis is bad on any given evening ... rush-hour typically gets started around 3PM and extends past 6PM. Westbound traffic on Friday evenings is twice as bad as during the rest of the week. Westbound traffic on Halloween which just happens to fall on a Friday ... welcome to the tenth level of hell.

This called for serious action. While Jay and I assumed that all the neighborhood kids would be annoyed at having one less house to raid for free candy, there was no way either of us were going to spend two hours trying to get home to distribute brightly wrapped agents of tooth decay when we could just meet somewhere for a quiet, tasty dinner.

And thus began the search for a restaurant that was easy for both of us to reach from our respective places of employment and which wouldn't result in too long a drive home once the traffic cleared up. We had such great sushi experiences while vacationing at WDW that we decided to try a Stinktown sushi restaurant. Our first choice, a place called Tsunami, opened about a year ago and had received great reviews - a friend of mine from work also thought it was a pretty good establishment and she's a reliable restaurant referral source. In addition, Tsunami had a really fun menu with items like Squid Vicious and Marilyn Monroll ... it seemed like a tasty, playful place for us to gobble fish and we were really looking forward to dining there.

Unfortunately we found out a few days ago that Tsunami had closed its doors.

D'OH! D'OH! D'OH!

Time to fall back on our second choice - an establishment called The Drunken Fish. They have three locations in St. Louis - Westport; Central West End; and Laclede's Landing - and have received consistently good reviews from people who supposedly know of that they eat and speak. Two friends of mine have also dined there and they both said it was a pretty good sushi place. Alrighty then - Drunken Fish it is!

Jay and I met up at Westport Plaza on Friday evening and made our way to the restaurant, located inside an office building. Truthfully Drunken Fish was not so much a restaurant as it was a bar with a small dance floor and a fair number of tables. The interior was dim and a bit dingy - I notice things sometimes that I'd probably be happier not noticing, but it's what I do - there were areas where paint was chipping and peeling off the walls and the carpet was threadbare and stained in some places. And the bathrooms weren't even inside the restaurant, but located in a long, dim hallway adjacent to the rear of the establishment. The only thing I have to say about the bathrooms is this: BLEARRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!

There was just one way to obliterate the squeamishness I felt about the noticeable lack of tenant improvements ... order a drink! Drunken Fish actually had a pretty extensive drink menu along with a good selection of Sake - I opted for something I've enjoyed tremendously at other establishments: a Key Lime Pie martini. In retrospect I should have tried something new because it was the worst version of this drink that I've ever had the misfortune to be served. For starters, where was the graham cracker pie crust that should have rimmed my glass? Where was the wonderful sweet-tart combination that I've come to expect? Where was the creamy deliciousness that skillfully masks the drink's alcohol content so that I keep ordering more until I stand up too suddenly only to discover that I'm brunk?

Gone, all gone!

Final verdict?

This drink tasted like frothy, milk-tinged cat piss.

I'm choking it down!

While our service wasn't bad it wasn't nearly as good as it could have been. The serving staff was all very young and were far more interested in the costumes they had all donned for Halloween than with providing attentive, helpful service. When I told our waitress just how unsatisfactory my drink was her response was a surprised, "Really?"

And no, I did not use the words frothy cat piss with her when I expressed distaste for my martini.

Jay, once again, displayed his drink-ordering smarts and chose a Kirin Itchy-Bunny ... the 22-ounce thank-gawd-it's-Friday serving size.

Mmmm, beer!

A few weeks ago Jay and I had a very enjoyable dinner at Tokyo Dining (Epcot) with a DIS-board friend and her hubby. They ordered Edamame as an appetizer and shared it with us and I was much surprised by just how tasty this dish was. So in a post-vacation tribute to Erica and Lionel we ordered some Edamame ourselves this evening and toasted their health before sucking soybean pods.

Edamame ...

We really enjoyed our lightly boiled baby soybean pods but I thought there was too much salt, especially as we made our way to the bottom of the pod pile. These are mucho fun to eat ... you use your teeth to squeeze the beans out of the pod which can result in much random squirting of table mates. The pods are then discarded as worthless.

Our first order of sushi included three selections of Nigiri, which is my favorite, and two sushi rolls. Before I tell you about the tasty fish, look at the cool serving dishes they brought out ... the yin and yang design was very cool!

Very nice!

OK, let's talk some fish. As I mentioned earlier, I like nigiri sushi best of all; it's simple and flavorful. I don't even use wasabi or ginger or soy sauce ... I just like the fish and the rice. Our first batch included salmon, hamachi, and crab in that order from left to right in the picture below.

Eat them up - good!

My own little nigiri plate ...


Of these three choices the hamachi (young yellowtail) was the best - light and sweet, it practically melted in my mouth. The salmon was pretty good and had a nice flavor, but it was a bit stringy and that was disappointing. I expected our crab nigiri to be really tasty based on the experience we had in Florida at Wolfgang Puck's sushi joint, but this was nasty. The crab should have been sweet and tender, instead it tasted very fishy and was salty and chewy. Ick, ick ick!

Our first two sushi rolls were the Drunken Fish Roll - Shrimp Tempura, Japanese Mayo, and Asparagus topped with Tuna, Sprouts, Masago, Japanese Mayo, Tempura Crumbs, and Eel Sauce (8 total pieces); and the So Roll - White Tuna, Crab, Carrots, and Scallions topped with Sprouts, Masago, Eel and Ponzu Sauces (5 pieces served in a martini glass).

See the pretty pictures below ... The So Roll is nicely arranged in the martini glass and the Drunken Fish Roll is arranged on the plate at the base of the glass.

See the pretty fishies?!

I preferred the Drunken Fish Roll to the So Roll; for one thing it was easier to eat but I also thought it tasted better even though they went overboard on the sauces. Jay just reminded me that the drunken roll actually had some crispiness to it due to the shrimp tempura component. And interestingly enough, the roll in a glass was served warm with no rice. They were both good, but if you like a more traditional sushi presentation you should definitely go with the tipsy fish. Just for fun, Masago, which was listed as an ingredient for almost everything on the menu, is Japanese for Capelin Roe; it's the tiny little orange fish eggs that were sprinkled over the top of each roll we ordered. They were a lovely bright orange color and had a very mild flavor.

When our waitress came back and asked if we were ready for dessert we shocked her by ordering more sushi. Her response once she saw our second order was, "Wow! You guys are really hungry!"

Bwaahahahahahahaaaa!! That's waitress speak for "You two are P-I-G-S ... pigs!"

I also took advantage of her appearance at our table to order another drink, opting for something new this time with the rationale that nothing could possibly be as bad as the martini that I'd just forced myself to consume unless I went back to the bathroom and lapped water out of the toilet.

The Sake Razz sounded like it might be good: Sake, Vodka, Stoli Razz, Pineapple and Cranberry Juices, served chilled. I requested that the bartender omit the pineapple and here's the result:

Razz-tastic!!

Yes, this was much much better. I wish I'd started the evening with this ... I think I would have been happier and I'm sure my gimpie leg would have bothered me less because I wouldn't have been feeling any pain at all after a couple of these babies.

OK, time for the second round of sushi which included two more nigiri selections and three more rolls.

Damn!

Our waitress was right ... we are pigs!

The entire order was presented on one large platter, so just to guide you around the first picture posted below, here's what we ordered: Tuna and Yellowtail Nigiri (middle of the plate); California Roll (bottom of plate); White Tiger Roll (lined up along both sides); and Red Dragon Roll (top of plate with red and yellowish squiggly sauces).

More sushi? Don't mind if we do!

And another picture of our sushi platter ... it's just been flipped so that the Dragon Roll is in the forefront.

Poison ... poison ... Tasty Fish!


To start with, the Tuna nigiri (dark red) was pretty tasty ... a little stringier than we're accustomed to but it had a decent flavor. I couldn't bring myself to eat the Yellowtail (pale pink) which I normally enjoy. The fish just didn't look visually appealing to me so Jay had to eat both pieces; he said they tasted fine but I thought they looked disgusting.

The California Roll - made with Crab, Cucumber, and Avocado, it was sprinkled with Sesame Seeds and Masago (8 pieces). It was good but not the best CA roll we've ever had.

The White Tiger Roll - made with Calamari Tempura, Avocado, Crab, and Masago, it was topped with White Tuna, Eel Sauce and Spicy Mayo (8 pieces). I don't like calamari so I didn't try this one; lemme check with the hubba and get his thoughts.

Jay's thoughts: It was very tasty with a nice spice; the squid was not too pronounced so picky people like Brenda probably would like it; or they'd at least be able to try one piece without being completely repulsed.

The Red Dragon Roll - a friend of mine suggested earlier in the day that we try this one and her culinary advice is usually pretty reliable. This roll included Crab and Asparagus and was topped with Spicy Tuna, Green Onion, Spicy Sauce, Japanese Mayo, Masago, and Tempura Crumbs (8 pieces). This was definitely a yummy choice - I thought it was overwhelmed by too much sauce and it was a tad spicy for my preference, but it was still very good.

Some general observations I'd like to share before I close this out:

The sushi at Drunken Fish was good, but not great. Jay and I are not sushi experts by any stretch of the imagination and we don't pretend to be, but we've been fortunate to eat at some very good restaurants with uber-fresh ingredients and I think it's going to be very difficult for us to find a Stinktown sushi joint that measures up to what we now expect. One of the suckiest things about being landlocked is that obtaining really fresh fish is a near impossibility, and there is a cynical part of me that wonders if those rolls we ordered came loaded with so much sauce to hide the fact that the ingredients weren't as fresh as they should have been.

As I stated earlier, I think that this Drunken Fish location suffers from being a bar more than a restaurant - I can't speak to the other two locations but this one seems to have a split personality issue to deal with. And because it's a bar environment, Jay and I were reminded that we are two of the least trendy people you'll never meet. As we were leaving I told Jay that I felt like Grandpa Simpson: "I used to be with it, and then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what is it seems weird and scary to me."

No doubt that feeling was exacerbated by the decidedly bizarre techo-rave music blaring from the restaurant's speaker system all night. How does rave music contribute to the ambiance at a sushi joint? Jay and I fully expected the AT&T Techno Twins, Claude and Veter, to burst from the kitchen with their boom box and rhythmic gymnastic ribbon at any moment.

We're glad we tried something new and it wasn't a bad experience, but certainly it wasn't impressive enough for us to want to visit again. There is another sushi place in Stinktown that's been getting very good reviews and we think we'll probably give it a try early next year.

Thanks for reading - I hope you enjoyed our fish tale!

Fay, You Stubborn, Soggy Sow ...

August 24th, 2008 - The Storm That Just Wouldn't Leave Us Alone

This would have been a great morning to sleep in, but unfortunately we were booked on the very first flight out of Fort Lauderdale for our travel group. That meant we had to get up early again, grab breakfast in the Cathedral, and pack everything up in order to catch the 8:30AM charter bus back to the airport.

Ugh.

Have I mentioned how much I hate having other people make our travel arrangements for us?

To make matters worse I was dealing with a sudden visit from the Crohn Goblin.

That hoary bastard.

It goes without saying that I hardly ate anything at breakfast and that's a shame because they were serving crepes and that would have been a tasty end to our stay. But trust me when I tell you that there was no point in my trying to eat anything. Jay enjoyed a freshly made omelet and said it was pretty good ... I'll take his word for it.

We noticed something we thought was rip-roaringly funny while finishing up breakfast. Do you guys remember those weird, sludgy drinks that I mentioned in my earlier post about our first morning's breakfast? Apparently we weren't the only ones a little baffled by these items, but it never occurred to either of us to pull one off the buffet line, give it a hearty sniff, pound it back like an early morning cocktail shooter, and then put the empty glass back on the shelf for all the world to see.

Who was that woman and, please Gawd, promise me that she doesn't work in food service somewhere!

No time to ponder her manners, however; we had to get back upstairs and finish packing. We're old hands at this and within twenty minutes we were downstairs, had checked in with the grumpy tour operator waiting outside the bus, and had seen our luggage safely loaded into its underbelly. We then climbed aboard and proceeded to wait fifteen minutes past our scheduled departure time because some people were late and other people were suddenly worried that their luggage hadn't been loaded ... these people actually left the bus and went outside in search of their luggage to make sure it had made it safely to where it had been all along.

Have I mentioned how much I hate waiting around on other people?

Luckily it was a beautiful weather day ... figures doesn't it? The day we leave and Boca Raton finally gets its best weather in something like seven days. Our maniac bus driver made quick time getting us to the airport and then Jay and I demonstrated why were are the bane of travel companies everywhere. As we exited the bus we were told to line up along the curbside and the porters would unload the luggage and then take it inside for us. Jay and I moved away from the rest of the crowd because many of them were lighting up cancer sticks and then I spotted our garment bag and went over to nab it.

One of the travel agents tried to stop me and said, "The porter will take that inside for you; you don't need to worry about it."

I'm pretty sure that I just shook my head at her, but Jay swears that I actually bared my teeth and hissed. I don't know what really happened but I must have done something because she backed cautiously away and left me to my labors. I soon saw our suitcase emerge from the bus and by this time Jay understood, without my having said a word, exactly what I was trying to accomplish. He grabbed the suitcase and we were headed into the terminal to check in ahead of 148 other passengers by a margin of at least fifteen minutes.

Some people later said that they thought they had to wait; others said they just hadn't thought about grabbing their stuff and leaving; and a few people actually said since the porters had been prepaid they were going to make sure that someone carried their luggage in for them.

I don't like to wait and I especially don't like to wait for others to do something for me that I'm perfectly capable of doing myself ... or that my lovey husband can do for me 'cause there was no way I was going to be able to carry much of anything with the way my back was feeling. My goal was to get through the check-in process (and it was just as annoying on this day as it had been on Friday) and clear security as quickly as possible so that we could settle in for a good sit at the gate where I could have some water, take a pain pill, and stretch out for a bit before cramming into the plane.

My dear hubby actually found a coffee shop near the gate and he bought me a latte, some water, and a tasty croissant to wash down that lovely darvocet. Once the muscles and joints started easing up I noticed the televisions in the terminal were all tuned to The Weather Channel ... oh Nelly, that can't be a good thing!

All we could see was a big green blob of precipitation swirling over the entire effing state of Georgia, which unfortunately was exactly where our first flight was headed. Well, since we can't control the weather (yet) there was nothing to do but dig out that sense of humor and keep the mild narcotics close at hand. ;-)

Having said that, it wasn't long before we were boarding our plane and then taking off on the first leg of what would turn out to be another long and interesting travel day. The silliness started with beverage / snack service. I declined food but gratefully accepted some water; the flight attendant was kind enough to let Jay have my package of snack peanuts which led us to another round of Jason is the Amazing Kreskin Peanut Guessing Guy. He guessed 20.5 peanuts on the first package and the result was 19.5; he guessed 18 peanuts for the second package and there were 18.5. Not too shabby for a sham mentalist!!!

The peanuts always lead Jay and I into a discussion of why the airlines even offer them as a snack any longer. It seems like everyone and their mother's third cousin twice removed is allergic to the little buggers - isn't exposure to peanut dust just as bad as being confronted with the dastardly legume itself? And what happens at 37,000 feet if a passenger suffers an allergic reaction? I always assume that people who have severe allergies are never far from their Epi-pens but what if they don't have one with them? It just seems to me that the airline would want to avoid potential deadly issues and would just stop serving those vacuum-sealed death packs to their sources of never-ending fee income ... uh, I mean passengers. ;-)

We speculated that perhaps Delta, being a Georgia-based airline, had some stake in providing peanuts as snackables for their passengers. But if that's the case, we felt like they should embrace their peanutie-ness They could order a new fleet of planes shaped like peanuts ... they could keep the leather seats supple with the careful and loving application of peanut oil ... they could perfume the cabin with eau de peanut. Snack options could include peanut infused water, peanut butter crackers, and peanut biscotti ... the possibilities are endless!

The flight itself was uneventful except for our snickering over the idea of flying in a Mr. Peanut-shaped plane. But did we ever have fun when it was time to touch down in Atlanta. We landed smoothly enough but as the pilot tried to slow down, the plane began to shake, rattle, and roll. And as he tried to make the turn from the runway to the cross-over area to taxi to our gate the plane started making horrible noises ... almost as if it were constipated and trying to expel a mammoth peanut-shaped blockage. The end ( ha ha ) result being that we came to a halt with the back-ass of the plane still on the runway and the front section half-turned on the cross-section. We sat out there for at least fifteen minutes without any kind of communication from the crew and all I could think of was that last Mega-Disaster episode we watched on the History Channel which just happened to be about runway incursions at major international airports resulting in fiery crashes and much human carnage.

Maybe there's some truth to the statement that ignorance is bliss.

It took another ten minutes of lurching and groaning for the poor plane to reach the gate and we never did find out what the issue was. I actually asked a flight attendant about it as we were de-planing and she smiled brightly and responded, "What problem?"

Ooooooo-kaaaaaaay ... maybe living in a state of perpetual denial is the only way she can stomach coming to work every day. I know all about that problem. ;-)

We couldn't help but notice that the skies in Atlanta were dark and stormy and after we made it to the appropriate terminal to catch our flight to St. Louis we watched a couple of storms roll through while waiting for the plane to show up. Long story short ... the plane did not arrive on time. But the most frustrating thing for us was that every time we checked the arrival / departure boards it showed that our flight was on time. I quesitoned a gate agent about that once the departure time for our flight had passed and we were still obviously sitting in the airport with no plane at the gate.

Gate attendant: "The flight is on time."

Me: "How can it be on time when it's 3:15PM and I'm standing here talking to you about a noticeable lack of plane?"

Gate attendant: "Weather disruptions do not qualify as delays; the flight is on time."

Me: "Wow - I've always wanted to travel in a time machine."

The plane showed up at 3:30PM ... thirty minutes after we were supposed to be in the air on our way home. But hey, at least it wasn't delayed. ;-)

As you've no doubt surmised, we did finally reach Stinktown and after a long wait for luggage fled the airport and arrived at Casa de J&B to find that our sump pump had massive heart failure in our absence; as a result, the basement flooded and made a soggy ruin of our carpet and we discovered that our cat does not like to wade through water to reach his litter box.

Jeeeeeeeez ... which deity did we piss off on this trip?

So final thoughts ... Jay's company was incredibly generous and we really did have a good time. The jury is still out on the resort because we just didn't get much time to explore - we never even saw the pool and couldn't find half of the restaurants that we were interested in. Our section of the hotel was noticeably more run down than other areas and that would have really irritated me if we'd been paying out of pocket to stay there. Overall, the resort property is lovely but I don't think this is a place that we'll be headed back to on our own ... too many other places that I think may be more reliable. Still, it was pretty cool to have a chance to stay there and experience the things we did ... as I said in another post: only five more years until we get to do it all again!