Joel Robuchon; MGM Grand, Las Vegas: Part I

Happy 40th Birthday Hubba or What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas ... Unless Jay and Bendy Witness Your Five-Star Meltdown

Joel Robuchon - recipient of more Michelin Stars than I probably have teeth; a AAA five-diamond and Mobile five-star winning Wine Spectator Grand Poobah. Named France's Chef of the Century, he came out of retirement to open his first US restaurant in Sin City (probably because someone drove a dump truck full of money up to his house) and it promptly became the only Michelin 3-Star restaurant in all of Las Vegas.

In Stinktown that translates to "I'm going to pay how much for a dinner that doesn't include steak?"

So let's not be coy.

Joel Robuchon's restaurants are not for the faint of heart or short of funds. When Jason and I decided that we wanted to dine here for his 40th birthday celebration we did so two years ahead of time in order to set aside the money to cover a week-long Vegas trip as well as two 16-course degustation menus. The current price of said degustation menu: $385 per person, not including tax or gratuity.

You understand, then, that for people like us, and I imagine for most of you reading here as well, this kind of dinner is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Dare I say, IT'S A BIG DEAL. Jay and I talked about this meal months prior to the trip and looked up reviews and pictures and just generally fidgeted with greedy, gastronomic anticipation. I point this all out so that later in the review you will understand why I found myself near tears in the middle of one of the most exclusive restaurants in Las Vegas and why Jason audibly wished for a video camera to record events because no one was going to believe us when we shared the story.

But more about that later.

Dining at Robuchon is such a special event that if you know to ask (and I scour the interwebs on a regular basis to ensure that I know what I need to know to be in the know) the restaurant staff will arrange round-trip transportation to and from the MGM Grand with one of the resort's signature gold limousines at no additional charge. For one night only we were going to receive the VIP treatment!

Self-portrait in our floor-length mirror ... when we were thin and hungry!


MGM Pimp Limo picking us up at the Encore!


I could get used to this ...


The cool thing about the limo ride, aside from the fact that you're actually in a gold stretch limo bopping down the Vegas strip, is that the driver doesn't drop you off at the front entrance to the MGM Grand where you must then walk through clouds of tobacco smoke and push past the unwashed masses in order to reach the restaurant. No siree! The limo driver instead takes guests to The Mansion at MGM, which is an exclusive enclave of 30 private villas tucked so well into the resort complex that you'd never know it was there unless you were supposed to know. The entire area is modeled after an 18th century Tuscan villa and has been sumptuously decorated with authentic, priceless European pieces. It has a private casino, two spas, and more than $1 million worth of area rugs. The only people who stay at The Mansion are the people who are invited to stay by hotel management; however, guests dining at Robuchon are allowed to relax prior to their reservation in one of The Mansion's public rooms until a restaurant staff member arrives to escort them to dinner.

Jason and I had the place to ourselves, aside from a few very discreet staff members, and while we probably didn't wait more than ten minutes it seemed like forever. I felt very awkward and out of place; gauche, even, especially when I whipped out the camera to take some pictures. The same stupid phrase kept running through my brain: we're not in Stinktown anymore, Toto.

No slouching!


Jason looks right at home ...


We like how the other half lives and would like to join them ... permanently!


Our Robuchon escort turned out to be one of the restaurant hostesses and she was quite friendly and even took our picture in the Villa courtyard. This was the area where we were originally dropped by our limo.

REM - Remorseless Eating Machines


The walk through the rest of The Mansion was amazing and beautiful - there are truly priceless works of art, porcelains, tapestries, and furniture everywhere. To give you some examples, there are paintings by Matisse and Picasso, Tang Dynasty sculptures, and Portuguese tapestries. And it is impossible to get into, or out of, the "public" areas of The Mansion without clearing security - they take their guests' privacy and safety very seriously.

Once we arrived at Robuchon we were seated immediately, but I have to confess to some disappointment. The main dining room is decorated in plush purple velvet with accents of black and white and gold - it's set off by an amazing crystal chandelier. And then for some odd reason the restaurant has a fake garden room with five tables and not a lot of privacy for additional seating. I wanted the main dining room and never stopped to think that for a 5:30 seating we would have to worry about being placed in the "kids" room but that's exactly what happened. And not only that, but we were seated at a round table for four people instead of one of the available two-toppers on either side of us. It was weird and awkward and not at all intimate and I didn't like it one bit, but there was nowhere else for us to go because the dining room was full.

Peek through our doorway to see the really plush dining area where they had pillows and carpeting and booze carts ... I love pillows and booze carts, especially when they can be found together in the same place.

Why can't we sit in there?


We took a shower!


Our decor ... fake ivy and Madame Leota's crystal ball


Place setting


I have to be honest - I was not at all pleased at this point in the evening. We were in the middle of the fake garden at a round table and there were two other couples on either side of us and it felt like we were all on top of each other. To make matters worse, I had been fighting with the gutworm all day and was very worried that it was going to rear its head and leave me in Joel Robuchon's bathroom while Jason ate dinner alone. Plans for a bottle of champagne went right out the fake door and into the fake ivy - we each ordered a single glass so that we could toast Jay's birthday but damn if I didn't feel like a ruiner before we'd even had a chance to look at the menu.

Happy birthday, handsome hubba!


Those aren't albino sausages ... they're my arms!


Can you see the vague shapes of people behind me in that picture? Note them well because they were our entertainment for a good third of the evening. I didn't notice them when we were first seated, but once I began to settle down and relax I became aware that the female member of this party talked loudly and constantly ... mostly about herself and how much men love her. From the way she spoke I assumed that she was probably very young; I thought this might be a "big date" for her and her manfriend and I tried very hard to ignore her. The manfriend, by the way, didn't say much ... I suppose he was dazzled by the vision of self-absorbed beauty sharing his table. We found out later that he was just really stupid.

The service at Robuchon is very measured ... everything is very calm and very quiet and very much about ensuring the best possible experience for the guest. The serving staff inquired about allergies and I mentioned my issues with nuts and seeds - they were scrupulous to a fault throughout the evening. Honestly, I think they were more careful with my food in one night than I've been in ten years! They were attentive and helpful without being overly intrusive and were very kind in many ways as the evening wore on.

Once our order was placed for the tasting menu we had only to sit back and wait for the first of many delights to show up at our table. The bread cart, which made an appearance at least twice, was loaded with freshly made yeasty offerings. Guests were welcome to try as many of these items as they liked and trying to decide between them all was not easy; Jason and I loves us some fresh bread, but we knew that we had to leave room for all the food to come so we limited ourselves to two choices each.

It was about this time that I really became aware of the couple seated behind me. The bread cart visited their table after ours and while the manfriend availed himself of more carb-loaded goodness, the female said, "Oh, no more for me even though it's so good. I can't eat too much bread or I will gain weight and I have to keep my fabulous figure."

When someone trills a comment like that at a member of the wait staff, I have to sneak a peek and let me just say that this woman looked like a toothpick. She didn't have a figure ... she had skin and bones and a hank of hair. Jason promptly dubbed her Skeletor and said at least she'd be a cheap date.

The bread cart!


Asiago roll & Bacon roll


Sourdough roll & Whole Wheat baguette


Our first course arrived shortly after the bread and it's something that is only provided when a guest orders the degustation menu - it cannot be ordered a la carte. Le Caviar is a Robuchon signature item and is described as follows: caviar on a fennel cream served as a surprise. It's a surprise because at first glance most people probably think they are being given an ounce of premium fish eggs to nosh on. It certainly does appear that way until you have your first bite and realize that there is a layer of caviar covering a creamy, tender crab filling. It was a rich mix of texture and flavors - simply amazing!

Le Caviar


SURPRISE!


Our second course was L'Oursin - sea urchin on a delicate spiced carrot fondant. It even had edible gold leaf, how fun is that? The gold leaf was the best part of this course, at least as far as I was concerned. I didn't care one bit for the taste of the sea urchin which reminded me of mud pie filling - it's texture, oddly enough, was reminiscent of foie gras but that taste .... bleh ... it was like eating dirt. Jason, however, thought this was quite tasty and really enjoyed the opportunity to try something new and scary.

L'Oursin


We now interrupt your tasting meal for a Skeletor and her manservant update.

These two did not order the tasting menu as Jay and I did; they apparently decided to go a la carte. I don't know which item they ordered but it was SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD! I know this because she must have had three foodgasms right there in the chair behind me and was loud enough that the people on the opposite side of the room were beginning to take notice. Shortly thereafter she excused herself and the manservant opened his mouth and requested the sommelier. He wanted to order another bottle of wine; something special. He asked for a recommendation on a really good Cabernet-Montrachet.

Jay and I just stared at each other, open-mouthed. And then I started to giggle.

"Psssssst," I whispered across the table at my hubby. "Didn't he just ask for a cabernet / white burgundy blend?"

Jay snickered. "Yep."

"I don't know much about wine but there isn't any such thing, is there?"

"I don't think so."

How the sommelier managed to keep a straight face through the whole exchange is beyond me, but his self control was amazing. I wonder though, if he wandered back to kitchen or wine cellar later that evening and busted a gut.

Shortly before our third, fourth, and fifth courses showed up, Skeletor made her triumphant return from the ladies room and I got my first and only good look at her. She was old! Skinny, leathery, and wrinkled with nasty bleach-blond fried hair. Jay summed it up best when he said, "She's been ridden hard and put away wet."

There wasn't much time to dwell on the horror behind me, however, because three courses arrived simultaneously: Les Asperges was a kind of study in asparagoose and I really enjoyed two of three offerings that were provided. We had asparagus pana cotta with citrus (creamy and light and refreshing), scrambled egg in a golden toast (lovely fluffy egg topped with asparagus and served in an edible toast bowl), and morel royale with chunks of asparagus and white wine broth (not with the shrooms again!).

Three courses at once AKA Les Asperges


Brouillarde Cremeuse Dans Une Voilette de Pain Dore


Un Blanc-Manger Aux Substances D'Agrumes


Royale Tremblotante de Morille Au Vin D'Arbois


While Jason and I were sampling all of these items I suddenly noticed how quiet the room had become. I looked over at him to ask a question and he was staring past me with a huge grin on his face.

"What?"

"Turn around and look."

"I can't just turn around - they'll know exactly what I'm doing."

"No they won't," Jason assured me.

So, carefully, I turned my head to the right and then whipped it back around to look at Jason who was laughing into his napkin by this point. I turned back again and stared at Skeletor and her manservant - they were engaged in an intense make-out session. She was straddling his lap and his hands were traveling and their tongues were dueling. And everyone was watching ...

Francois Payard, Payard Patisserie & Bistro; Vegas Uncorked Master's Series

Afternoon Tea with Francois Payard? No, Not Really ... Vegas Uncorked Misrepresents and Overbooks and Underwhelms.

I was terribly excited when this event was listed on the 2010 Vegas Uncorked website - ever since Jason and I had the pleasure of visiting Payard's in April 2008 when we tried his three-course dessert tasting (long since eliminated because no one else was apparently booking it) we had been looking forward to visiting the patisserie again. And now here was the perfect opportunity! Afternoon tea ... maybe some champagne ... fabulous pastries and confections ... a cooking demonstration by the master himself ... and a glossy cookbook to help us re-create the impossible at home.

For those of you who have never been to Payard's in Las Vegas, the patisserie and bistro are tucked well into the smoky bowels of Sleazer's Palace. It's not easy to find, but well worth it once you finally reach your destination. The actual dining area is quite small and when Jay and I arrived and saw the line of people waiting to gain entrance to the establishment we suspected there might be a potential problem staring us all in the face.

There was not enough seating for the number of tickets that Uncorked had sold to the event. To make matters worse, rather than serving guests at their tables after they were seated, the staff had laid out a buffet of foods for people to serve themselves as soon as they entered the bistro - this created an even longer delay in getting people checked in for the event, admitted to the bistro, and then seated with their food.

Jay and I found a seat at one of the last available tables, and there had to have been at least 15-20 people in line behind us. We shared with one other couple and a group of ladies - there really wasn't enough room for all of us but there wasn't much that could be done. Many of us, and I include myself in this grouping, were visibly and vocally annoyed by the situation - after paying $125 per person to attend, guests should not have been standing around the bistro searching for a place to sit and enjoy their food. I will go further and say that I don't think for that price tag that we should have been serving ourselves. And then I will go even further and say for that price tag, not offering champagne or wine or sherry as a drink option was pretty much unforgivable - guests were offered iced tea, water, coffee, or hot tea (with a teabag). Are you following me so far? This was not an afternoon tea as anyone with even the foggiest notion of teatime would have expected or envisioned.

Personally, I was also disappointed in the food. I admit that I expected a traditional tea service and experience with some elegant French interpretations of the long-standing British custom. What we had were some savory appetizer selections, some of which were probably variations of standard tea sandwiches, and a selection of pastries and cookies from Payard's daily menu. I expected more than that based on our dessert tasting from 2008 - I thought that there would be far fewer dessert options but that they would be created by Payard and his staff for our immediate enjoyment during the event. We didn't have anything that afternoon that couldn't have been purchased from the refrigerated case over on the retail area of the patisserie and in fact, when supplies were running low, I saw staff members head over to the patisserie and bring back items for us that has been set out for purchase.

Not cool.

Interestingly enough, this was the second Uncorked event that we attended where the primary hostess from Bon Appetite, Barbara Fairchild, was also in attendance. I found it surprising and somewhat ungracious that she didn't mingle with the guests at either event ... maybe she doesn't like the unwashed masses or too many of us were chewing with our mouths open? The staff at Payard's were as helpful and kind as they could be under the circumstances and Payard himself was charming and friendly and a lot of fun during his cooking demonstration. We waited in line to have him sign our cookbooks and to get a couple of photographs and he was as gracious as could be. We told him how much we'd enjoyed his dessert tasting and how sad we were to find it was no longer offered - he talked with us about it for nearly ten minutes, telling us that the hotel management had forced him to get rid of the offering because it wasn't making money. Such a shame because it was really one of the coolest, most delectable experiences Jay and I have ever had in Vegas.

To sum it up, so that you can get to the pictures and move on with your lives, we do not hold Francois Payard responsible for the snaufus at this event - we place that blame squarely on the shoulders of the Uncorked event planners and his senior staff. Based on our experience, however, we can't recommend this for anyone should it be offered again unless it comes down in price or the event format is significantly altered. We found out later that we would have been much happier at the cocktail / appetizer event at the Wynn where guests ended up with tasty food and booze as well as a mixology cookbook and a cocktail set. Sometimes I just choose wrong! I do have to say, though, that we both really enjoyed meeting Francois Payard - his commitment to, and passion for, his craft are very evident and he really was a pleasure to watch and very friendly to two hungry dorks who know nothing about pastry or chocolate, other than that they taste great together!

Plate of stuff


Buffalo mozzarella & tomatoes


Weird Salad, Salmon & Cream Cheese Roll-Up, and Vanilla Sponge Cake

Mystery Tart, Chocolate Hazelnut Mousse, Lemon Tart, Chockie & Vanilla Cakes

Same choices, different view and a Chocolate Berry Cake!

Some kind of roll ...

Watermelon Salad

Salmon Roll-Ups

Shrimp Shooters

Cookies

More Cookies

Pucker-Up Lemon Tart!

The Red Cake everyone wanted ... with a pink macaroon!

All of these are for sale in the Patisserie

Francois Payard ... talking to us about making a salted caramel chocolate-peanut tart

Cookbook signing!

He's got that French charm going for sure!

I still think Jay is cuter!


For those of you who are interested in the dessert tasting Jay and I enjoyed at Payard's in April 2008 ... here's the link to my review: knock yourselves out!

http://oybolshoi-gastropodtravels.blogspot.com/2008/05/payard-patisserie-caesars-palace.html

Sage; Aria, Las Vegas

Third Hop's a Charm: Foie Gras Brulee and Booze on Fiyah = Culinary Jackpot!

Sage (per Merriam-Webster):

1) a wise, thorough reflection and experience;
2) proceeding from, or characterized by, wisdom, prudence, and good judgment;
3) one distinguished for wisdom;
4) a mature or venerable man of sound judgment;
5) a European perennial mint with grayish-green aromatic leaves used especially in the flavoring of meats;
6) a color - light grayish-green.

Sage (per Jay & Bendy):

1) fargin' unbelievable;
2) a bowl-licking, plate-tonguing culinary experience that must be repeated as soon as humanly possible;
3) fire, good!

None of us knew anything about Sage other than that the restaurant and lounge offered absinthe service, something we all agreed that we wanted to try in light of Uncle Sam's recent decision to re-legalize the green fairy. Some of us, and I'm not naming names, actually ordered absinthe from a Spanish retailer many years ago when it was still considered an illegal, liquid hallucinogen capable of causing people to slice off their ears in an artistic fit of unrequited love, and it cleared US Customs quicker than shat through a goose. Kind of makes you wonder what else passes through on a daily basis, doesn't it?

For those of you curious about the ins-and-outs of absinthe, you are in the wrong place. All I can tell you is that it is a strong, green liqueur flavored with wormwood and anise that was outlawed by many countries shortly after the turn of the 20th century because of its high alcohol content and supposed toxicity. There are many other theories behind its banning and it makes for fascinating reading, so if you're really interested go forth and search the interwebs at your leisure. As for the booze itself, it smells and tastes of black licorice ... or Nyquil ... take your pick. The traditional service dilutes the alcohol by dripping water over a sugar cube held by a slotted spoon secured above the glass - it changes the color of the absinthe from a shade of violent green to a cloudy, chartreuse color. I have not tried this method; I prefer my absinthe diluted by a well-made sazerac ... thank you New Orleans!!

Anyway, back to Sage. We were charmed the moment we wandered into the lounge which was large and comfortable. The ceilings were high, the lighting was intimate, the seating was plush (I'm a sucker for pillows), and there was an amazing floor-to-ceiling reproduction that seemed to change colors as the evening wore on. Elegant yet welcoming, that's the best way to describe both the atmosphere and the service.

The most interesting man in the world ponders his drink selection.


Now that's a bar!


The picture sets the tone...


Now keep in mind that we were not in the restaurant dining room, we were in the lounge. We hadn't even placed more than a drink order when our server, Kevin, who was simply fabulous, came back with a gift from the kitchen ... a happy mouth; amuse bouche; a moose bush! It was a shooter of beef consomme and it was rich and delicate and delicious!

You can make my mouth happy every day with this!


Our drinks were delivered shortly after our happy mouth, and I think it's safe to say that all three of us were quite pleased with the bartender's efforts. I selected a sazerac, which was made with rye whiskey, peychaud's bitters, and absinthe (specifically Marilyn Manson Absinthe, or Mansinthe .. haahaha!). I haven't had a sazerac this good since I was in New Orleans - it was perfect!

Sazerac!


Jason is nothing if not full of surprises, and he ended up ordering a drink called the Desert Shrub. It was made with reposado tequila, prosecco, pink grapefruit, and purple sage - this baby was gorgeous to look at and almost as good to drink, but it was really hard to photograph well due to the lighting. Regardless, it was a fabulous choice and I think I may have to try one on our next visit. Catherine ordered a Tea Rose - tea-infused vodka, st. germain liqueur, lemon, rose water, and pine nuts. I don't recall how this tasted and I didn't attempt a photograph, but she seemed to enjoy her drink as much as Jay and I enjoyed ours.

Desert Shrub.


For snacking Catherine ordered Oysters, which I do not like but which she and Jason said were truly fabulous. Jason ordered the Wagyu Beef Tartare with crushed caper aioli, slow poached egg, pickled mustard seeds, and crispy chocolate with garlic toast on the side. This was very good and all three of us liked it just fine, but there was no way it could compare with my appetizer selection for the evening. What, you may ask, could possibly outshine Wagyu beef? Read on, my hungry friends; read on!

Wagyu Beef Tartare.


Due to the lack of substantial food at our Payard Uncorked event (still not posted ... just hold your horses) I did not order foie gras while we were at Red Square. Once I spotted it on the menu at Sage, the decision making process was over before it even began. But you have to understand, this was no ordinary seared foie gras. Oh, no ... this was Foie Gras Custard Brulee with blood orange and toasted cocoa nibs served with salted brioche; the single most expensive item on the appetizer menu at $25 per serving and worth every decadent penny, plus interest.

As I recall, the foie gras goes on a voyage of discovery in a food processor until it turns into a light, creamy meat custard. It is then dished into a serving bowl and given the butane torch treatment until it literally looks like creme brulee. It's garnished with some cocoa nibs and more foie gras, along with two warm, salty brioche and I swear to you it's the most amazing, toe curling taste treat I have ever had in my entire life. It was rich; it was creamy beyond belief; the caramelized crust provided wonderful texture; and the brioche, with its slight saltiness, was the perfect foil to the sweet undertones lent the foie gras by the cocoa and the blood orange. If you enjoy foie gras, it does not get any better than this. In a word: scrumdiddily-umscious!!

Foie Gras Custard Brulee ... next time just shoot it into my veins!


Sometimes, you really do need to lick the bowl clean!


As if all this weren't enough, we decided to go ahead with the official absinthe service offered by Sage. Like most restaurants on the Strip serving absinthe, Sage provides the traditional French service I mentioned earlier in this post, but they also offer a Russian absinthe service called Sochi. Sochi service sets the absinthe on fiyah, baybee! It's blended with either orange juice or root beer, and when the flames are extinguished the fumes are trapped in the glass by the server and guests are invited to suck the fumes through a straw and hold them in their lungs for a few moments so as to "enhance" the experience. Hence our decision to call it the absinthe bong.

There were numerous absinthes to choose from, all with different alcohol contents and flavor profiles; Catherine chose St. George Absinthe and elected to have hers mixed with orange juice. Jason and I selected Marilyn Mansinthe and had it combined with root beer. I thought the root beer did a better job of mixing with the herbiness of the liqueur while still adding some sweetness; the orange juice method still tasted very bitter to me. Either way, it was one of the coolest things we've ever experienced - the entire process takes place table side and does it ever catch the attention of everyone else in the room! According to our server we were the only people who had requested the service that evening; but once we were done the poor guy got repeated requests to stop at other tables and explain the process. We did see at least one other group go ahead and order the Sochi service and they seemed to enjoy it as much as we did. Who doesn't like booze on fiyah?

The following pictures were the best we could do under the circumstances - they aren't the greatest, but will at least provide you with an idea of what it was like. As for the after-effects, let me just tell you that we all had one hell of a buzz on by the time we left Sage. And that weird garden display at the Bellagio with all those giant bugs and flora and fauna ... well, it was surreal and much funnier than I suspect the artist intended.

Absinthe cart ...


I would chose this one!


What's that? You want us to drink you?


Catherine's drink, getting ready to flame!


Wait for it ...


Fiyah!


Our absinthe-root beer delight ...


Time to set the night on fiyah!


Who's got the marshmallows?


Sniffing the last bit of the fumes ...


Friends, all I can tell you is this was one of the happiest surprises of our entire trip. Flaming booze aside, the food and the service at Sage were among some of the best we had all week. The professional reviewers who supposedly know better than the rest of us all agree that Sage is one of the Strip's brightest gems. Jay and I plan to dine there in earnest come this April and I have a sneaking suspicion that we'll splurge on the absinthe service again - we do like culinary pyrotechnics, after all!